Turning down the Tide-Pod teasing temptation…

“In those days came John the Baptist preaching in the wilderness of Judaea. And saying, Repent ye, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Esaias( Isaiah), saying, THE VOICE OF ONE CRYING IN THE WILDERNESS, PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD, MAKE HIS PATHS STRAIGHT.

And the same John had his raiment (clothing) of camel’s hair, and a leathern girdle (belt) about his loins (around his waist); and his meat (food) was locusts and wild honey. 

Then went out to him, Jerusalem, and all of Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan. And were baptized of him in Jordan, confessing their sins.

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to (for) his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, WHO hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 

Bring forth therefore fruits meet (worthy of) repentance

And THINK NOT to yourselves, We have Abraham to our father; for I SAY UNTO YOU, THAT GOD IS ABLE OF THESE STONES TO RAISE UP CHILDREN UNTO ABRAHAM.

And NOW the ax IS laid unto the root of the trees, THEREFORE EVERY TREE WHICH BRINGETH FORTH NOT GOOD FRUIT IS HEWN DOWN, AND CAST INTO THE FIRE.” Matthew 3:1-10

You know John was an expert on the wilderness and I can only imagine WHAT would have been said about John IF God had saved his ministry until our present day. Can you only imagine the late night monologues, and the endless stream of John jokes and memes on social stream?

There would be a virtual field day ridiculing EVERY thing about him. His clothes, his food, his wilderness way.

But most of those of John’s day had a couple of qualities that this world severely lacks, FEAR OF THE LORD and good old-fashioned TACT. 

There isn’t much difference in those addressed between the two spans of time… VIPERS… all that can be said.. POISONOUS BITING BEASTS who lay wait to attack WHATEVER moves or comes their way.

And just as John warned those vipers of his day, I think those present vipers may do well to take heed.

Clearly as John made mention that they should not THINK to themselves that they have some special “escape clause” that allowed them to do whatever they wished or behave anyway they wanted, and made them exempt from the wrath of God BECAUSE they were Abraham’s descendants.

It seems that even believers can get a little to chummy with the world and FORGET that GOD does NOT need us for His kingdom, WE ARE ACTUALLY THE ONES IN NEED.

So maybe you are wondering what on earth am I talking about?

I am talking about all this insane laughter over people EATING tide pods and the Tide pods are ONLY a drop in the bucket!

People will MAKE FUN of anything and make bad tasteless jokes about ANYTHING! Whether or not grown people are doing this, still does not change the fact that INNOCENT children have been harmed by accidentally ingesting these and there IS nothing funny about that and if anyone thinks it is remotely humorous than they are demonically possessed because only true evil could find this funny.

And when “church goers” get on board with it and call people “stupid’ and “ignorant” that will make them accountable for THEIR words because Jesus told us this concerning calling people these “names”

Matthew 5:22:

 “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment:

and whosoever shall say to his brother Raca (empty head) shall be in danger of the council: 

but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” 

Think that clarifies His opinion on it.

God help us, it is no  shock that the word is in the state it is in, it is not a shock that it is not going to get any better, actually it will get a lot worse BEFORE it gets better.

And as long as we keep “liking” “sharing” and giving a “thumb up” to this junk we ARE running our OWN risk of running the risks Jesus warned us of.

So think really carefully before you post, share, or repeat. Think carefully before you make a joke about anything or anyone because if it is something that hurts others or is an act that has caused another hurt, whether you are joking or not, you are still promoting that.

And believe it or don’t but we will be responsible for BEARING fruit and if we spent a little more time on cultivating the gardens of the Kingdom we’d have a lot less time to spend helping spread the trash of this world.

Σαλπιζω NB 2018

Building your “Hope Chest”

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt (ruin), and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up your for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:19-21 

During Christmas my family visited a local museum, we were there for the “festival of trees” which can only be described as tree extravaganza which local churches, various groups, and I think maybe some individuals decorating over eighty trees.

And every single one of them was truly magnificent,each with a theme or message, or both. And although a small “museum” it does hold a few treasures, one in particular was a sixteenth century (if memory recalls correctly) Italian “hope chest” that  had belonged to some of the former “mansion” owners whose family home of yesteryear has now became a historical landmark. 

The tradition of “hope chests” is quite the Victorian lure. The custom of young women collecting special treasures neatly stored away in the “hope” that one day all their romantic dreams and aspirations will come true.

This has been a custom in many areas the world over, many different names for these vessels of hope, but still in THE same hope.

And of course this isn’t so much a custom now in America as it once was, and a custom whose purity and beauty has been tarnished in many parts of the world due to the violence associated with the “dowry” concept, when those dowries haven’t been considered quite enough.

That is truly a disturbing and sickening thought that I did want to address, just to be clear that I am NOT would I ever condone this treatment of women, because these are two VERY different concepts.

A “hope chest” is WILLINGLY kept by the lady and a DOWRY is forcibly demanded by a groom.

But we do want to talk about hope! Anyone been needing a little hope? Or how about A LOT of hope? I will admit that my “hope chest” had been growing a wee sparse over the last year or so, more to the so… you know?

I write a lot about discouragement, battles, and storms and the ONLY way we learn about these things is by experiencing them. That is never fun and especially when we are so aware of the Lord, His goodness, mercy, and presence and YET we find ourselves in a “battle-royale” chest deep in water fearing every moment will be our last before we finally just become so tired and worn out and lose the strength to keep our heads above that water and in doing so… we would drown.

Ah, but hope… when hope finally does come shining through there is the new found expectation that soon everything will change.

Jesus told us about storing up our treasures, treasures not kept on this earth but in our “hope chests” which are located in the heavenly realms and safety kept for us there awaiting our arrival for that beautiful and glorious day when we as the Bride of Christ will open those precious chests and enjoy those treasures with the King Eternal. 

The things of this life and all the worry and strife are but for a moment and our true hope, as the Bible so often comforts our concerns about IS eternal.

The things we “store” up on this earth can often unknowing be nothing more than negative rags and the ruined garments of hurt, envy, resentment, while a true hope chest should contain at least one beautiful new dress, as in our case.. that beautiful wedding garment provided by Christ.

But when our chests are filled to brim from the storing of the wrong items of this world, we have no more room to store those beautiful treasures that should be stored there.

And that is when junk has to be removed from that trunk and GOOD things put it.

Knowing that there IS nothing on this earth or of this world that can separate you from God as we are told in Romans 8.

Knowing that no matter what life, the devil, or all of hell tries to set in your path as a roadblock or hindrance, that God will USE that very thing as a catapult for YOUR good, also Romans 8.

Knowing that your sins are covered by the blood of the Lamb and will NEVER be remembered of God EVER and that your name is in the Lambs Book of Life and the TRUTH of your future and your eternal destiny can NOT  be controlled by the enemy, people, or circumstance, that it can ONLY be affected by how YOU choose to proceed.

As the old saying goes… “No one can take us out of the Lamb’s Book EXCEPT us” and we can only do that but choosing to give up and surrender, turn back and go back and stay there.

Because if we do slip (and WE all do), when we do stumble, which is par for the course, (you ain’t gonna run a race without falling a couple of times) God IS faithful to pick us back up ,we repent and GO ON.

These thoughts and mindsets ARE the materials, the wood, if you will, that builds our wonderful heavenly storage “chests” and all the pieces are held together and fastened by hope.

The greatest of all hope, the hope and assurance that we are saved!

We start this mindset by REMEMBERING these things and MEDITATING on the truth of the promises given us through the Word of God, which IS our guide through this life. 

Philippians 4: 4-8: REJOICE in the Lord alway: and AGAIN I say, REJOICE. Let your moderation (gentleness) be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. 

Be careful for nothing (try to NOT be anxious or uneasy about ANYTHING); but in every thing BY PRAYER AND SUPPLICATION WITH THANKSGIVING LET YOUR REQUESTS BE KNOWN UNTO GOD

And the PEACE of God, which passeth all understanding (goes beyond anything we can imagine), SHALL KEEP YOUR MINDS THROUGH JESUS CHRIST.

Finally brethren, whatsoever things ARE true, whatsoever things ARE honest, whatsoever things ARE just, whatsoever things ARE pure, whatsoever things ARE lovely, whatsoever things ARE of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, THINK ON THESE THINGS.” 

Keeping our minds on the good things, lovely and pure that are worthwhile bringing praise and honor to our Father.

And keeping our hearts and thoughts ( and I promise I KNOW how hard this can be) steadfast where they should be, but this is the effect will be peace in your heart and soul.

Colossians 3:1-4: “If ye then be risen with Christ, SEEK those things with ARE above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. SET YOUR AFFECTION ON THINGS ABOVE, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, (to the world) and your life is hid with Christ in God. WHEN CHRIST WHO IS OUR LIFE, SHALL APPEAR, THEN SHALL YE ALSO APPEAR WITH HIM IN GLORY.”

Now that IS exciting! And that IS hope!

So if your going through a rough patch or many rough patches,take comfort knowing that you are not alone, and the strength you gain by overcoming this bad season in your own life while continuing the work storing your own treasures will be a comforting story and testimony that you will share to give someone else courage to keep building their own hope chest.

But know that we are never alone, God IS always with us and you can guarantee that other brothers and sisters in Christ are having their battles also, so you are not alone, start “rearranging” your hope chest, I started rearranging my own.

And if you are in a good season and your storms have passed use this fresh peaceful season to decorate your treasure box with the beauty of praise and worship, the lilies and roses thrown at the feet of the King!

Thanks for reading! Love & Peace till next time!

May God bless you and all you set your heart to do for His mighty Kingdom. I pray your HOPE in Jesus Christ builds your faith into a masterpiece.

Φλογιζω NLB 2018

If you need a little stirring to REMEMBER that hope, close your eyes and listen to this song!  (shared from Youtube)

Don’t blink..

“Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; Put (add) your burnt offerings unto your sacrifices,and eat flesh. For I spake not unto your fathers, nor commanded them in the day that I brought them out of Egypt, concerning burnt offerings or sacrifices; 

But this THING I commanded them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and WALK ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you. 

But they hearkened not (did not listen), nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and  in the imagination (stubbornness) of  their evil heart, and went BACKWARD, and not forward.” Jeremiah 7: 21-24 

I have been brushing up on the book of Jeremiah in a whole new light, I will share it as a blog page in my “page” section” Juggling Jeremiah and encourage any who are interested in end time prophecy to check it out and study it also.

But back to my point, I have been just a wee afraid that we are on borrowed time… actually I KNOW we are.

And hate the new president or not, we were STILL blessed with answered prayer. Many, many churches and families were having special prayer meetings just for the sole purpose of praying about the last American presidential election.

And I truly believe had it not gone the way it went we would have had some major trouble with certain “mother” land. But I am concerned that if we fail to make the most of this season, when we are absolute liberty to express our christian beliefs and use every resource given us to evangelize and spread the good news of the Gospel that a time will come, and is already quite still looming on the horizon when those original freedoms that were just so recently hard-fought to regain could be at even a greater risk than what we have known.

I don’t think anyone is naive enough to believe that the anti-God counter-culture that rose up under the prior administration has just vanished, conceded defeat, threw in the towel and retired from the ring.. forever. Not even close.. Au contraire… they are recouping, regrouping, and regaining momentum to fight another day.

A battle that many will not even see coming and if you blink you may just miss it before it rises up in a whole new kind of power. I’m not even going to get into the socialist, anti-God, anti-American thoughts and actions that ALMOST split our country into but we do all know that hatred in the name of tolerance, which is such an oxymoron in itself, spread like wild, group against group, hatred and violence spewing persona against person, no one to blame and YET everyone blamed one another.

But we all know as a truth “history is apt to repeat itself” if we forget that history.

And it has for a season tempered down a little and it is in this season that whatever difference is to be made, must be made.

We can’t be taking it easy, resting on our lees, when we have to keep fighting the good fight and keep fighting to keep the rights that were becoming so sketchy and shaky as we saw the white house go rainbow, traditional marriage “go south” and bakers fined hundred of thousands of dollars for refusing to bake cakes to celebrate what they hold as absolute abominations to God, and truly it would be no different from baking cakes honoring Satanic worship, pagan deity, or anything they hold personally offensive and morally wrong… however had they refused to bake a cake honoring, celebrating, or encouraging dog-fighting, or elder abuse, or even slavery the whole world would have been behind them cheering them on in the defiant stand for those PERSONAL beliefs.

Yeah.. as long as those beliefs CONDONE their behaviors or condemn the “unsavory” and SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE behaviors that they PERSONALLY find despicable.

Funny how it works out that way! Good old socialism and how dare you refer to a transgender person by other that what they PREFER? That’ll get you a fast trip on the money tree express to lawsuit city.

And God help anyone who would accidentally saw the wrong thing or be confused in their true intent with a comment or thought expressed, or heaven forbid their own PERSONAL OPINION.

Ahh.. I remember the days when we actually had our opinions and people were ENCOURAGED to form their own opinions.

Now we are to CONFORM to the supposed popular opinion.. which is THEIR opinion or face their wrath of “love, peace, and tolerance” of being called names and accused of hate crimes.

Romans 12:2:” And be ye NOT conformed to this world; but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may PROVE what IS that good, and ACCEPTABLE, and perfect ( BLAMELESS) WILL OF GOD.” 

So don’t get too comfortable just yet, don’t start taking it easy and keeping your voice to yourself because there is still that horizon, and there is still that “champion” to be sent, just as Goliath was sent forth as the champion for the Hebrews to fight against or become slaves to their enemies.

A new “champion” is rising with a whole new agenda to “preach” against, an agenda that if not dealt with in a Godly way, taken serious and rectified, as it was intended.. for freedom, that agenda will be used to usher in a much darker one than anything we have yet seen.

So remember what God told us, to obey HIS laws and GO FORWARD, do not go backward and do not take the easy path of retreat being fully prepared for a battle truly determines the outcome of that battle and sometimes in being well prepared a battle can even be avoided.

Stand your ground and stay strong in the Word and in God, be ready at all times as the word tell us to be “instant in season and out of season.” don’t forget where we have been because we sure don’t want to go back.

Σαλπιζω NLB 2018

Woman of Ministry

“And when he was come into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came unto him as he was teaching, and said, By WHAT AUTHORITY DOEST THOU THESE THINGS? and WHO GAVE THEE THIS AUTHORITY?

And Jesus answered and said unto them,  I also will ask you one thing, which if you tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things. the baptism of John, whence (where) was it? from heaven or of men? 

And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say from heaven; he will say unto us, Why then did ye not believe him? But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold John as a prophet.

And they answered Jesus, and said, We cannot tell (do not know). And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.” Matthew 21:23-27
This is one of those extremely comforting Bible stories that remind us that Jesus Christ IS our High Priest who DOES understand every single thing we go through.
I really detest the fact that I have to use this blog to address this issue that I am growing quite tired of addressing and we will deal with that at the end of this post.
I am one of those “lucky” ladies who have to privilege of removing my own (WP) followers.

Satan does like to send some “live “ones my way.
And occasionally the OTHER “live” ones are sent this way also.

So between the freak-show Casanova wannabe’s who seem to NOT notice the title REVEREND and think I might be up for some..something and dealing with the “Good ol’ boy’s ministerial club” THIS sure can be a whole lotta fun!
I tried unsuccessfully last night to leave about a fifteen hundred word comment on a fellow bloggers post, he had recently started to follow my blog and after I read some of his work, there was no secret about how he felt about “females” in ministry, so I was just going to give him a different point of view but unfortunately when I hit “post comment” I was met with “invalid security entry” and eventually just removed him from following me for the second time, being that anti-female, I know if they are reading it is for the wrong reason.

So rather than write all of it again, “explaining” “FEMALES” in ministry, I decided to just “once and for all it here and just send this out to anyone else who wants to argue the point.

A point I am NOT going to argue. I WILL say my peace because I am sick to my death of it and THIS IS MY BLOG, I didn’t go looking for their churches, so if they want to come here, and read my posts in some sort of hope of finding “heretical” proof as fodder to kindle the fire as they tie all of us “female folk” to the stake for “preaching without a Paulinist license” well, they may just have another thing coming.

This is NOT just for me, I WANTED to do this for ALL the women whom Christ HAS CALLED, who are going through or have been through this gauntlet of the “brotherhood” and for those whose wounds received while running that gauntlet has left them laying in ashes, I want to encourage you, my sisters, GET BACK UP!
“Women in ministry = “Wounded, Ostracized, Maligned, Estranged, Negated.”

I will share the “highlights” of my ministerial journey and I am sure many of you have been there and many more I hope to encourage, because it IS not just you, it is par for running the course set before us.

Of course NO ONE tells us this upfront, because after others discover that we have been called, the “wounding” starts.
When I was first saved, I was so scared and shy that when they called on me to testify I would actually shake and dreaded being called on to read a scripture because I was absolutely terrified and quite content to sit there and listen.

But soon I started being awoken in the dead of night with an overwhelming need to read the Bible, as I try to be so clear about my past, I had been an absolute heathen and knew only what I had studied with my Dad while growing up.
And soon this became more of an obsession and I took my study Bible to work and studied every possible chance I had, I could not put it down.
After I became a mother, I would take care of my baby, and at that time my husband was gone about twelve hours a day and of course my family visited us a lot, but my point is this, I would take care of my baby, who soon became a toddler, on onward, clean my house, take of my pets, do ALL that life requires and then after my family had fallen asleep, I would spend the rest of the night studying the Bible until four or five am and get up the next day and do it ALL over again.
So it does irk me pretty badly when these guys who have had the PRIVILEGE of mothers and wives “taking care of them” and had the PRIVILEGE of seminary school and classes to learn what I, and many other ladies had to absolutely sacrifice to learn and I am NOT complaining and I am NOT begrudging and I thank Jesus EVERY DAY for the precious gift that HE has given me to be a MESSENGER of HIS Word.

And I know MANY other WOMEN who have been through this same “course of training” and what really bothers me the most is when CERTAIN guys and ESPECIALLY certain denominations teach that somehow WOMEN would do all this to somehow gain power to USURP some magical authority over them.
Look dudes, DON’T even kid yourselves! I have no desire to be anything OVER a man, I want to minister to the ones God has sent me to and as far as the old “men pray for men, women for women go” that kind of thinking does not even belong in a church!

If anyone is thinking this way.. instead of worrying about who is laying hands on who, they really need to hit the altars and get their mind right.

My first pastor was an absolute awesome man of God and was the first to invite a “lady” to minister at that particular church, which was one time and after he passed away the new pastor also “ALLOWED” (wow, what a term..) another lady to minister, as soon as she stepped foot behind the podium, one entire pew of the congregation got up and left.

She happens to be a dear friend and just having SEEN this was such an encouragement to me in my later years, because at this time, I had NOT been technically called.
But in such grace and beauty she APPEARED unscathed, she ministered a beautiful candle-light sermon (A candle which I STILL have to this day, and I am also sure she also financed all the candles, holders, and tiny flashlights for the children, because that is another aspect to being female, YOU pay for your own ministry) But she did not show one tear, but I KNOW how deep that cut had to have been and how deep that scar has to go this day.

BUT she STOOD, she stood just as Steven stood as they stoned him, she STOOD just Paul stood when he took lash after lash, repeatedly and on more than one occasion.

She stood just as Mary stood when they laughed in her face when she announced Jesus’ resurrection, to which I have never read one APOLOGY given to Mary for outright accusing her of being a mentally deranged liar.

And we have NEVER discussed how she was wounded, ostracized, maligned, estranged, and negated.

My favorite one is negated, it means “rendered worthless as a truth” and she probably never had a clue what her stand would mean for the rest of us BUT God did.

And others who have been ostracized by their own fathers, maligned and estranged for BEING a vessel of God and choosing to OBEY God at the price of having their own father’s DESPISE them and think they are heretics on their way to hell.

I have listened to them tell their stories as ENCOURAGEMENT to those of us who would SOON travel that road, stories told their tears and heartache, bearing evidence that those wounds and those tears would only cease existence once wiped away by the Saviors hand in New Jerusalem.

But I was blessed on that count, I have a very supportive father, who has had his fair share of discussion on the subject with those not so inclined.

And my late uncle, whose influence is one of the reasons why I choose to carry my maiden name into ministry.

He was who encouraged me to be bold and to tackle the really difficult subjects that I usually work with and his encouragement to NEVER see myself as a WOMAN but as what GOD called me to be.

And when God opened the door for me to start writing a blog, he had actually prayed with me the day BEFORE I wrote my very first post.

I was so excited and also TERRIFIED, because the particular church had an impeccable reputation and I was scared to death to even try to articulate the word of God under their name after having spent a lot of television time listening to the sermons of the pastor years earlier, it was hard to stand in that group.

But I tried and I did my best and I pulled back a lot, things that now under my own ministry, I am “free” to say without the fear of “bringing reproach” on another ministry.

And it is my uncle’s sweet face and gentle voice calling me “little girl” and encouraging me EVERY single time I feel the anointing fire rise up in me to tackle a subject that I KNOW is just going to garner a little fuel to the destructive fire of hatred and misogyny that burns against me.

As I go a little farther, I could really use that encouragement as I go through my own story, so I’ll probably add his beautiful face in this post.
But on with it when I personally was called there were only THREE people in the entire church that knew, including myself.

By this time things had changed and there was still ONE preacher whose family had always been part of the church and somehow one night the subject of female ministers was brought up at which he was quick to pull out the scriptural big guns of SILENCE.

To which I asked from my pew, in a new-found boldness, “What if God ANOINTS a woman?” to which my question was met with a glare and when his appointment time rolled around again it was a”being tied to the whipping post” extravaganza.

This actually had answered a prayer for me, I had technically received my “hands on and prophecy” calling through another minister, who mainly ministered in another state and came by appointment, and this entire time, he felt that I was being disobedient to that calling by not doing anything to proceed forward.
And I was always thinking, “You just do not have a clue what I am up against” and he didn’t, he had never seen this, because the majority of the congregation all held the same belief, we just WANTED to enjoy God and the gender of the messengers was of no importance ONLY the anointing of that messenger.
And I had prayed and prayed and asked the Lord to please tell him that I was not being disobedient, I just did not know what on earth I was supposed to do in the situation that I was in.

God worked out so that he did come to church on the other “ministers” night and heard EXACTLY what I had to deal with, and he sat there that night, every ounce of color completely drained out of his face, (not to mention mine) as we ALL were thoroughly beaten with the “twisted” classic verses from the Books of Timothy and Titus, and left with the resounding voice from the pulpit that WOMEN ARE TO BE SILENT IN CHURCH and ANY woman who preaches is NOT of God.

What really broke my heart about this was that one night (when Sir Silence WAS NOT there) a tiny little girl had asked for prayer because she wanted “to be a preacher like her late Pa-paw when she grew up” and we had all prayed and asked the Lord’s anointing on her life and then three weeks later, that same child is HEARING this.
But for me, those scriptures WERE NOTHING NEW, I had spent many nights crying and praying, asking the Lord, HOW, how on earth could I possibly do this? HOW when Paul’s teaching said ABSOLUTELY NOT?
Does anyone think, really BELIEVE that women in ministry DO NOT KNOW THESE SCRIPTURES?
We probably know them much better because we have had to tearfully WEIGH them against the SPIRIT OF GOD calling and prayerfully consider HOW THEY ARE BOTH ACCURATE.

To understand this, you HAVE to understand that the Bible is made up of WRITTEN accounts and Paul’s teachings are MAINLY LETTERS to individuals and churches AT THAT TIME.

Of course it IS the inspired WORD OF GOD, but as Paul said in the infamous 1 Timothy 2:12: ” But I suffer not (do not permit) a woman to teach, nor to usurp (have) authority over a man, but to be in silence.”

Now we have a couple of things going on here. Paul WAS persecuted, just like the persecutions WE are suffering. He wrote quite a bit about it.

ALL the disciples went through it because what they were called of God to do what did not line up in the elders and leaders EYES of what scripture taught.
They were not allowing for the supreme authority of God over human action.

Remember when Mary questioned “How can THIS be?” and Gabriel replied that “With God NOTHING shall be impossible.”

Paul also used the word I, he DID NOT say that “The LORD suffers not”…. the history on this is that he was under such persecution from a group of Jewish women, who were basically coming in and teaching AGAINST the Gospel, that HE forbade women to speak and that they had to ask their husbands whatever they needed to know AT HOME, because they were TO BE SILENT during his teachings.

So since that time you have this scripture being ran wild with and used a power tool against wives and women when PAUL also SAID this:

Galatians 3:28: ” There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, THERE IS NEITHER MALE NOR FEMALE; FOR YE ARE ALL ONE IN CHRIST.”
And what I find most HYPOCRITICAL about guys who carry this doctrine is the fact that say that it is perfectly “okay” for women to teach OTHER women and children… and it is “okay” for them to sing, answer phones at church… all sorts of activities INVOLVING THE USE OF ONE’S VOICE… and YET they argue the SILENCE scriptures.

That is a complete contradiction.
Using THAT same scripture… at NO time did he make allowance for these activities!
Did he boys? SILENCE MEANS SILENCE.
And this really tells the tale.. it is not about being scriptural pure and right.
It IS about good ol’ time honored male dominance.

Of course we are “permitted” (WOW, again what a word) to speak when we are making your phone calls, having church sales, teaching those women and children that you don’t want to have to deal with… rather convenient.

It is also the fear of their own shortcomings. It is their own need for church house superiority when we know that in the true body of Christ, HUMAN SUPERIORITY does NOT exist!

So I want to ask those who seem to think we would subject ourselves to this torment and hatred if our callings were NOT from God just for the purpose of somehow having “authority over a man” a few questions.
I want to ask WHAT was receiving your calling like?
Did you have the privilege to have your pastor proudly announce to the entire church that “Brother—– has been called to preach”?
Did everyone shake your hand and congratulate you?
Did your Mom and Grandmother cry tears of joy?
Did you receive calls of congratulations of fellow clergymen and invites to discuss thoughts on scripture?

I am SURE you did!

Let me tell you what it is like for US.

Our callings are kept on the down low and often we are under such pressure from those who say they are unbiased but secretly are, that we have to check and recheck every single word, scripture, and reference or face the “correction” by our peers which only “proves’ we shouldn’t be “doing a man’s job” anyway.

I have been under a couple of pastor’s and the one that shocked me the most was this little slip, I HAD the appointment and so he opens service and went rather long and brought me up with these UNFORGETTABLE words, “Well, I BAKED the cake, now Sister Nina is going to FROST it.”
Yeah, it was nice to know my sermon was PREJUDGED TO BE FLUFF.

And that is just about how seriously we usually get taken.
I did get some good feed back and a cute comment from one person who had noticed the remark.

And let those congratulatory hand shakes turn to looks of disgust and the reproach by fathers, coupled with the fear of people you GENUINELY like, turning on you because they now think your “of the devil” and no longer want anything to do with you.

And if you complain about the inequality, somehow it becomes YOUR job to go talk to Sir Silence and CONVINCE him of your argument because the church is NOT going to tangle with him, but if YOU can get HIM to CHANGE HIS MIND, that will be groovy.

It took FOUR years to finally get my ordination, a paper that means nothing to many but meant everything to me, for me it was PROOF that this is God’s will and I had asked God that.

And YES, my mother cried and my sister cried BUT they were crying because they KNEW what I had endured for that “piece of paper”.

A paper that must be renewed yearly and a separate “paper” allowing certification from my state to perform legal marriages that does not even HAVE a female option, it is pre-printed with the word HIS and HE before the name space that is filled out.

Now this is a state that has LEGAL homosexual marriage BUT not a form with a he/her for ministers names.
It gets better, this will be a bit graphic, but I’m not going to hide the attacks of the enemy due to my own discomfort, congratulatory calls.. yeah.. the very night after I received my calling, my telephone rang, I answered it and was promptly met with a man’s voice which said ” Will you———, to translate a little differently from his actual words… “perform certain oral services on a certain appendage”, now that one I could not even bring myself to even try to relay to my husband.

I have also received very select pm messages asking sexual questions, I would have been happy to discuss the Word and discuss SERIOUS concerns but as a servant of God, I KNEW the motivation behind it was NOT for the Gospel.
And my latest, shortly after starting the new “ladies”blog, I gained a “follower” whose profile held nothing back as far as intent nor his very graphic descriptions of what he felt were his “attributes”, that one I did let my husband read before removing him, because I have finally reached the point that I am no longer shocked, I understand that satan feels the need remind me of his feelings about my worth, and all I could truly say to this one was “Seriously?”
TELL ME, male ministers have to deal with this!?

I do realize we ALL are fought but you guys do not have a clue as to the weapons used against us.

And unfortunately certain of our brothers of the cloth ARE the greatest weapons in satan’s arsenal against us!
And those discussions of scripture, well, the most memorable of mine were with a guy who is absolutely as hard-core as it gets, his wife did not wear pants, drive, nor was she allowed to have ANY money whatsoever, or any knowledge of their finances, and any contact I HAD to have with him became a ” sword fight” of scripture to try to “test” my knowledge of the Bible.
It also consisted of the age-old “made-up wearing JEZEBEL” that tempts men to lust, to which I finally shut him up with, “Jesus knows I wear make-up, I wear it for me, and I’ll wear it like a clown if I want to.”

And Jesus taught that the responsibility for lust fell upon the one feeling it.
But my most favorite questions he asked as he was “agreeing with women “preachers” is this gem… “Do you know WHY God called women?” .. I couldn’t WAIT to hear this one.. so I asked “Why?” to which he replied “Because MEN wouldn’t do THEIR job’s.”

Hmm. is that it? Considering the scriptures stating that we “are pre-ordained, predestined, and CALLED BEFORE THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE WORLD”

I would truly think that HE already knew what gender that He would create us to be.
But who am I to argue the WISDOM OF MAN?!!!

When I feared truly falling into disobedience I reached out to another pastor who is of the same belief system, and he had just announced one members call, and so after church, I BOLDLY (it took every ounce of courage I had) asked him, what was his thoughts on female ministers, he was QUICK to inform that “he was NOT recruiting” so I told him that was no big deal, I wasn’t asking for that, I just wanted to know if he thought it was acceptable with God.
He goes on to tell me that he grew up with women and personally had no problem with it BUT that his congregation would never “go for it”.
The irony in this was that this particular pastor is black with an all white (or at that time) congregation and my being a white woman asking a black man to advise me with my calling our chat was truly the equivalent of something that might have been said between our ancestors …You know, like “I am okay with you… I actually HAVE black friends.. but I can’t let my white friends know that.”

That was another time I was so hurt and embarrassed that I had even asked that I told no one for YEARS.
I truly DID NOT even want him to “take me in”, I honestly, at the time was seeking spiritual guidance, someone to help me understand what I was called to do and how to go about that and be in the will of God.

But God is so good and soon reconfirmed many things to me and sent me to a church where I was viewed as a PERSON, not male or female and opened up a path for me.
But I did have to leave everything I knew and walk by faith, not knowing if those doors would be slammed and the constant voices back and forth of “your going to hell because women are to be silent” versus “You must obey the Lord.. REGARDLESS.”

I know this has been long, but it has been necessary, because as I said GOD GAVE ME MY MINISTRY and I will not allow those who would read my work as fuel to further reproach and tear apart women ministers to continue to do so without a little warning, “TOUCH NOT MINE ANOINTED AND DO MY PROPHETS NO HARM”

This ministry is for ANYONE who wishes to stop by and hopefully study the Word of God with me and know that GOD DOES LOVE THEM!
And I would also take a moment to THANK all my TRUE brothers in the Lord, there is a world full of awesome, God-fearing men out there who do not hold these misogynistic beliefs toward us.

So I think it suffices to say, I have taken my stripes and if you are a woman going through this, please KEEP praying, keep STUDYING, and be ATTENTIVE to every door the Lord opens and don’t be afraid to move on when he allows one to close

At the height of my struggle with it, I had a dream, in this dream I was walking in this building that had all these little side rooms, and they looked like little hospital chapel rooms, they all had wood-paneled walls, and I kept walking and saw one room with an older man standing and praying, and it was like I knew I was SUPPOSED to go in there, and I said “I can’t go in there, it’s all old guys” and it was just like “GO”, so I went in and the gentleman just looked at me for a moment and not saying a word went back to praying, so I started praying too and woke up.

I took that as comfort but I assure you it has not been easy.

And I want to give YOU the verse that the Lord allowed me to stand on and STILL stand on today.
REMEMBER those who were persecuted and falsely called evil BEFORE you.
REMEMBER what Jesus said when they were CONSTANTLY ACCUSING HIM.

Matthew 10:24-27: ” The disciple is not above his master, nor servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple to be as his master (teacher) and the servant as his lord,

If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub (a devil)  how much more shall they call them of his house?

Fear them not therefore; for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.
What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in the light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye from the housetops.”

I will admit this was one I was stuck on for a while… the Lord kept taking me to it very early on and I was not even getting it and then one day……
It means this IF and they DID call Him a devil FOR doing right, as His servants, we will ALSO be treated badly.
But He tells us NOT to be afraid, but to PREACH what He gives us from the “housetops” meaning LOUDLY, BOLDLY, and FOR ALL THE WORLD TO HEAR!
When they try to shut you up and discourage you, REMEMBER this verse, from when they also tried to shut up Peter and FORBADE the apostle to preach Jesus:
Acts 5:29:” Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God RATHER than men.”
This is one God had a person give me BEFORE I even understood the true ramifications of it:
2 Timothy 2:3,4: “Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
No man that warreth (battle) entangleth himself with the affairs of THIS life; that HE MAY PLEASE HIM WHO HATH CHOSEN HIM TO BE A SOLDIER.”
That one I actually have written on my Bible case.
And this one I have written on apiece of paper in the front cover of my Bible, MEMORIZE it and quote it over yourself.
It is ALSO written by Paul, whom they love to argue, read some of the things Paul went through and how often he was persecuted for ALSO carrying the Gospel.
1 Corinthians 15:10: ” But BY THE GRACE OF GOD I AM WHAT I AM; AND HIS GRACE WHICH WAS BESTOWED UPON ME WAS NOT IN VAIN…..”
I apologize again for the length of this but there is no way to highlight a seventeen year journey using five hundred words or less 🙂 and I truly pray this helps even one you to stand your ground and stay your path, because I for one would rather men hate me than to stand before God and know that I failed Him in what He sent me here to do.
I love all of you and God bless you for reading and I appreciate it truly!
And I promise no matter how tough it looks, TRUST HIM and He will show you the doors that He opened BEFORE you were even created!

Dedicated to my beautiful uncle… till we meet again on those golden streets…

Φλογιζω, Σαλπιζω, Εξυπνιζω, NBJ 2018

For a little more about women and the Word, please check out: AWAKENING / THE FORGOTTEN CHILD

Parental guidance #2 “KNOW them”

1 Thessalonians 5:12: “And we beseech you, (urgently, fervently, implore) brethren , to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish (instruct) you; 

Now of course if you are going to study the Bible, it is imperative that you read ALL verses before, after, and cross-reference to get the full meanings.

And another secret to it all it that often part of a thought or an account of something will be in one book and the “rest of the story” as Paul Harvey would have said, it to be found somewhere else.

Some can even go between the Old Testament and the New Testament, which is a killer for those who want to argue that the Old Testament is archaic and we do not have to live by any of it now… not quite true.

The other reason I believe that God had it arranged this way it to actually fulfill part of what He said as recorded in Matthew 13:13: “Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.” 

He went on to expound on what had been written by the Prophet Isaiah as to the reasoning behind this. And this arrangement becomes quite a formidable foe to those who attempt to twist the word of God and use HIS own scripture to seemingly contradict itself.

Years ago I was watching a “History” show on Sodom and Gomorrah ( I KNOW better but sometimes I just do it to see how far out they can go) and the thing with this particular take was that they were NOT disputing the destruction of Sodom, they WERE disputing the REASON it was destroyed.

So the “expert” reads the Old Testament account and concludes that the Bible NEVER states that the destruction was due to sexual immorality.

BUT actually the Bible DOES state it only it is found in the NEW Testament and in the Book of Jude. And unfortunately the untold MILLIONS of people who watched this show and took the “expert” opinion on the subject viewed this as the Gospel and were now given even MORE free range to sin at will with no expected Divine repercussions for that sin.

And THAT is the ONLY reason so much as been done on the subject over the last twenty years. it is NOT to promote the kingdom it is to attempt to pacify those who believe and know that God does truly exist but still want to hang onto sinful lifestyles, and these “experts” have done a marvelous job of it!

Which why there are so many false, pagan churches today who claim the name of Jesus Christ but would not know Him if He “walked into the room” actually as soon as He started to teach repentance, hell, and judgment, just as He DID while He walked earth, He would be escorted to the door, accused of sedition and running off the congregation… HEY, doesn’t THAT sound rather familiar?

And the leaders would quickly apologize to those who had been OFFENDED by those hurtful words regarding the REQUIRED standards of KINGDOM living.

Something else sounds quite familiar also…  when Jesus spoke into confirmation more words prophesied of old and as with THAT generation, they ring ever so true AGAIN in ours…

Matthew 15:7-9: “Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophecy of you, saying, THIS PEOPLE DRAWETH NIGH UNTO ME WITH THEIR MOUTH, AND HONOURETH ME WITH THEIR LIPS; BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR FROM ME. BUT IN VAIN THEY DO WORSHIP ME, TEACHING FOR DOCTRINES THE COMMANDMENTS OF MEN.” 

Now THAT is an expert opinion on the subject!!!

Notice HE did say that they WORSHIPPED Him but because it was not worship of the heart and it was NOT of His teaching BUT of man’s own thoughts TAUGHT as doctrine, that worship WAS and STILL IS in vain.

Making it absolutely WORTHLESS.

So now that we have that covered. KNOWING those who labor among you, KNOWING their LIVES, how they live AT home, HOW they treat their families and friends. That is a kind of knowing that we need NOW more than ever.

I truly believe that there is a shift that God wants for the “church” we NEED to turn back to Him in the type of service and worship that He intended.

Seek those “old paths” as the Bible instructs of us. I still fail to completely understand why there was ever a need felt to “fix” something that was NEVER broken.

I am talking about “youth groups” and before you get all mad at me and stop reading… Just WAIT and HEAR me out!

I am NOT talking about kids services provided by ONE church with ONE pastor who is over the ENTIRE FLOCK and KNOWS what they are being taught and more so WHO is teaching them. I am talking about the “youth” craze and culture of huge conferences of music and “worship” by travelling “youth leaders” and organizations that kids and teens are being herded off to.

I had a conversation with a person who had a horrible experience at a youth conference, most chilling thing was what they said about it, that “parents NEED to go with their kids and see what is going on and what is being taught.” 

With parents and I personally believe half the time church leaders THEMSELVES knowing NOTHING about these people other than rave reviews and mass numbers of attendance Satan has really ran a gambit with that one too, so much has become about the NUMBERS not the souls.

Anyone remember David getting into some serious trouble with God for NUMBERING Israel? 

It is NOT the quantity it is the QUALITY. We ARE to be rearing up a generation for the Lord, to take over ministry reins and why do we want to trust those babies to people and DOCTRINES that may NOT even be the same truths that we as a family hold?

And I will admit it can be quite groovy when a parent who does NOT attend church sends their kid’s to summer Bible school, but tell you a little secret.. that child is LEARNING the most important lessons of life from YOU.

You want them saved the best thing you can do is accept Christ yourself. Parents who also treat church as a secondary life choice, you know go when it is convenient or there isn’t something else planned are also setting their children up to have this same attitude, when the Lord said that He would “spew” us out of His mouth for being lukewarm.

And people who “discipline” children during church, I will admit that I have left services because of this, the me in me wants to shake the parents and tell them to try hitting someone who hits back.

Sorry, it is the truth.. if all a kid knows the house of God to be is a place where you must sit and be a soldier or else get spanked WHY on earth would they want to go there when they grow up and NEED to feel safe and loved during tough seasons of life?

No. all they will associate it with is discipline and as Paul said “When I was a CHILD, I THOUGHT AS A CHILD” and Jesus LOVES those babies!

As parents we have ALL made mistakes, I have made A LOT and I am sure most everyone has too but these are things we can CHANGE!

We know that we are in the “great falling away” we also know that we are PROMISED the last day outpouring, so we also KNOW that these two have to meet in the middle.

As the old song says… “Give me that OLD TIME religion.. it WAS good enough for Momma, it is good enough for me…”

Get back to basics, worship TOGETHER as a FAMILY as God intended.

And if you have been blessed to be called as an overseer of a flock remember a little something GOD CALLED YOU OVER THAT FLOCK, HE DID NOT TELL YOU TO HIRE IT OUT.

TAKE YOUR FAMILY BACK IN 2018!

Εξυπνιζω Σαλπιζω NBJ 2018

Part one /  Parental Guidance Highly Suggested

 

Parental Guidance Highly Suggested

“Hear O Israel: The Lord our God is one God. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heartand thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and thou shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Trying to determine true statics on kids and Christianity is like the proverbial needle in the haystack.

But it is very fair to say considering the verse above that it doesn’t really matter what school stats would suggest because this is parental responsibility.

According to the history on it, “Sunday school” was started in Britain as a way of not only helping the street children, but also teaching them about God and educating them.

And in our country schools used mainly the word of God as a teaching tools for reading and writing.

Many of our early leaders WERE self-taught, the Bible being the number one book used for that purpose.

So it is not a shocker that schools of yesteryear were safe learning place that parents could entrust their children to, of course you have to take the corporal punishment out of that equation, I for one absolutely do not agree with hitting or spanking, or any form of physical violence as a method of discipline or learning “incentive”.

But they were something else in the old days as far as the term “strong disciplinarians” could go.

My mother has horror stories of the days when children were paddled for not knowing their multiplication table. And as she said, if you miss one you were sure to miss another. It is just absolutely wrong for anyone other than a parent to have that kind of authority over a child.

But we have as a society  given entirely too much power to influence the minds and more importantly the SOULS of our children to the “world” schools, and even religious organizations.

As we know when prayer and the teachings of God were removed form public schools replaced with Darwinism and the absolute intelligence insulting nonsense of the big bang and evolution, we invited the moral downfall of society as we knew it.

And at the end of the day it is up to each one of us to take back that power, that back that authority that we have blindly given others BECAUSE God only gave that authority to parents.

I have heard people remark after being called out about saying or doing things that are not right in front of their children, only to reply that “They hear worse at school” and everyone could argue the filth that they see on television and movies and even argue that at some point they “will be exposed to it anyway” but here is the deal, EVEN if they hear bad language at school, they should NOT hear it at home. EVEN if they have saw filth on television, you have to ask, WHO is monitoring that television? WHO is watching over what they are watching, witnessing, and being exposed to?

Remember PG for PARENTAL GUIDANCE? That is NOT just for television. God expects us to use our PG authority in all areas of our children’s lives and even if children are grown adults, they are STILL your children. 

No matter what mistakes have been made in the past, the present and future can be changed for the better by enacting that parental guidance in our own lives, by being the example that God intended for us to be.

And as long as we have breath in these bodies, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE! That is why God told US to teach our own children, of course we can not protect the from the world and the things in the world but at the end of the day, what are taught by parents and family will outweigh those other influences.

And of course people can fall in with the “wrong crowd” and go completely “hog wild” as the saying goes, kinda reminiscent of the Prodigal son there, but have hope in this.

Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he WILL NOT depart from it.”

Most of us have been guilty of running amok in our youth, (some of us seriously amok) but there is so much comfort in knowing that God ALWAYS has His eyes on us AND our children.

That is why it is so important for those who are new to Christ to STAY in Christ because we are PROMISED our households and our families to a thousand generations, we are NOT saved just for the sake of being saved.

As part of that salvation, we are to lead others to Him, that His light may also shine into their lives also and  that light radiates and it touches so many others, which is why when one family member accepts Christ usually the others soon follow.

It ONLY takes one person to STAND up and declare faith in Jesus to influence many generations.

Think about it as we start a New Year, if you have a school aged child KNOW who is teaching them and what they are being taught and do not be afraid to speak AGAINST those things that are against God because you are actually the one with the GREATER influence.

And if you doubt that, think of it in the negative, think about all the people who belong to hate groups BECAUSE they were BORN into hate groups and we ARE products of our environment and once that environment changes WE CAN CHANGE ALSO.

This kinda goes with my “when in Rome” thought, it has been on my heart and mind so much that THIS has to change. Take back your place in the family and take back your heritage in the Lord.

Psalm 127:3,4: ” Lo, (OT for pay attention) Children ARE an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of thy womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

We ARE blessed with children. We ARE entrusted of God with those children and they are HIS and we are privileged with the task of nurturing their hearts, their souls, and their minds and guide them on their journey into adulthood but even more so in discovering  WHO HE CREATED THEM TO BE.

And the greatest reflection that will show in them is WHO we understand HE created US to be.

So as you make your resolutions for this New Year, think about what you want for your family, if you don’t have kids, think about maybe another family member. We all struggle, we all need help at different times in life, and we can all be a light, and especially as parents, be that parental guide for your child, no matter how young or old they are because you lead and they will follow, maybe not in a split second, but stay on the Lord’s path and they will… just as scripture tells us, NOT depart from that way.

So be that example this year, even when you don’t feel like being an example.. BE ONE.

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2018

 

My year in review.. in the rearview

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things unseen….” we all know that one by heart. And I BELIEVE IT!

I have BELIEVED it and I HAVE BELIEVED since I was saved March 13,2000, but actually I BELIEVED it before I was saved because sometimes life deals us hands with odd stacked so high that there is no way of winning without pulling that mysterious ace out of the hole and often we have forgotten exactly where that ace is hidden. 

Still digging on the New Years Eve card game with my parents last night. They love it and I know some people may think card playing is wrong but if you are not betting on it, it is no different from checkers, or chess, or video games in my opinion.

It was actually a wonderful evening. We always ring it in with my Mom and Dad and last night was exceptional, we watched some great Gospel signing, praying, we ate and then had our game of Spades, watched a Christmas pageant, watched the ball drop, blew ours horns and prayed the New Year in on speaker phone with my Sister. 

But anyway they are the sweetest people and every single New Years Eve is even more of a blessing because we are all together. We still always miss my brother Donnie, we always spent New Years Eve’s together at their house before he passed but death does one thing for a certainty, it reminds us, very painfully of just how precious each one of those moments of that countdown really are, and precious they are.

And we had been blessed to be gifted with a restaurant gift certificate as a family Christmas gift, so Mom taught it would be a good night to use that, so while my family was gone to pick up dinner, me and Dad listened to a Gospel music program and his shoulders have been hurting really bad over the last few weeks, so anyway I just felt like we should pray.

We prayed and just had the sweetest presence of the Lord, the kind of presence that just leaves you with tears of awe in His mercy, grace, and the fact that we as humans are so small and should be so insignificant, BUT He loves us so much that EVERY need we have IS important to Him. To know and be made aware that in the midst of an entire universe of heartache, trouble, and toil, a world full of problems and troubles much greater than our own, HE WILL take the time to hear us and touch us and let us know that HE IS still very much there.

And sometimes so beautiful about sharing tears of joy and awe with my eighty-four year old Dad that still amazes me. Couldn’t stand the man until I was nineteen, to say we had a troubled relationship would have been the understatement of the century. But when I had some problems we began to get close and actually talk to each other and he eventually ended up being the person who prayed with me when I got saved and filled with the Holy Ghost and once that took place I understood completely why we had always had such and argumentative, strained relationship.

God has plans for our lives and Satan knows who to put at each others throats. So maybe the person who always fights and argues with you is the person who you have already been predestined to win to the Lord.

He always said that me and my sister were “like daylight and dark” and I was always dark. I was also okay with him saying that because I knew that it was absolutely the truth. She was sweet and mild and I really was exceptionally vocal with my thoughts and feelings and extremely strong opinions and looking back I truly wish I would have been my supportive toward him rather than resent and rebel.

Funny things happen in life, when we are young and “flying” down that highway thinking we are Sammy Hagar signing, “I can’t drive fifty-five” raging through life at break neck speeds while we don’t even know where we are headed and we are going so fast that whatever image that rear view mirror is capturing becomes just a blur.

But add a little age, a few seasons, and a strong desire to become an old sage one day, things change… as we slow down we can see… we see what that mirror is trying to show us and it shows us life, moments, glimpse, memories, that are so close to passing up by and that we become so painfully aware that a day will come when we will long for those things that were once behind to be in view just once more.

And as the Bible tells us to “FORGET those things that are behind” we know we must stay the course and enjoy every second of the ride we have left.But it does hurt to think of the things we could have done so differently and how that would have affected lives for the better. And this year that is my deal.. to SLOW way down and look carefully at WHAT I am seeing.

As I went outside and I pondered and I thanked the Lord for the wonderful Christmas our family had… with loved ones that we had not seen in a long time and children running, playing and Mom glowing seeing her family together and I thanked him for my great-niece who lives a very busy life quite far away, and as she came to visit just a few days before making my parents day.

I thanked Him for what He has done for my family and my husband’s health and sending blessed help with burdens that few even know about and He has blessed in way that have just blown my mind and in ways and through people whose kindness  has been beyond measure.

And I have had to learn so much about MYSELF and face fears and deal with things I did not THINK I was quite prepared to deal with and it all, even though I FELT surrendered and I felt like I TRUSTED God, I have had learned lessons in trusting Him with the prospect of widowhood, as much as I have had times of wanting to choke my husband over our twenty plus years, I NEVER had to FACE head on the fact that I may lose him.

I had no CLUE what was going on inside of his body because he has always been the “strong” knight in shining armor.

I NEVER had to cope had in hand with my daughter FACING these fears together as she had to deal with the possibility of losing her Dad, while STILL coping with the grief of losing her uncle who was like a second Dad to her. We were side by side for the entire ordeal all the tests, the horror of being met with the dry erase drawing of his blockages, the doctor informer her that this is now in her medical history also, which another later told her that again, and I told him really fast that she is a teenager and they just needed to stop it, and thankfully nothing else was said. She had enough worry without them scaring her about her own health at that particular moment. And we stayed with him and sleep in his hospital room and it was all so surreal, so sudden but we saw the hand of God at every turn.

And all the daily issues that came along for the ride, other family issues, worries, and snares and TRYING to fix a few things my way only to realize some things may never change and some of our inner wounds are so deep that we may NEVER be able to get past certain hurdles.

I am speaking of myself there and the fact that I have just truly had to admit to myself that i went through what I went through over twenty years ago but I don’t know that I will ever feel safe in certain working conditions again and I don’t know that I can ever go “back” to the comfort of never worrying about looking over my shoulder, not because there is now a need to, but simply because we can never undo what has been done.

And I have had to painfully accept that, I love people, I love working in public but I know deep down inside that I may be able to swing it for a few weeks but I am never going to be the same and a work environment of  large windows and public service is not going to be a thing again.

So I have had to learn a whole NEW level of trust and as I thought about all these things and ALL He has done and the ways He has made in absolute wilderness a beautiful thought came to mind… “GREATER WORKS THAN THESE…” and I am so holding to that verse, for me, for you, for this entire world! GREATER…. and TRUST and FAITH are the doors that lead to those greater works.

When we ARE helpless, ARE hopeless, and ARE without remedy as the scripture I clung to, “Who AGAINST hope BELIEVED in hope”…. that is when those doors open to GREATER because we KNOW, we have been TAUGHT that even though we KNOW it, we REALLY see it put to the test, that He is not going to let us fall through those cracks, He is not going to let the world swallow us up, and He will NEVER leave us comfortless.

And most of us have been wounded in life and wounds leave scars, and some things may  NEVER be completely “alright” and make us feel like we will never be able to cope or handle certain things ( and maybe we can’t) and make us question our ability to stand one more second and even feel “flaked out” or as my daughter said when she was little.. about a horse on a cartoon, “not all there, up there”

The past year I WAS a mess, I WAS freaked, I WAS scared, and I WAS fogged over but HE NEVER WAS!

He is NEVER a mess or blindsided by what befalls our human states, HE IS THE I AM THAT IS and like the old Gospel hymn and the words of Paul.. when I am weak HE IS STRONG and for all of my fears He gives faith and for all of my tears, He has given me peace and in that awe IS the Joy of resting in HIS STRENGTH and sometimes in life we just need to be reminded of that!

Thanks for reading and I pray you are having a blessed beginning to a beautiful New Year!

Φλογιζω NBJ 2018

I have loved this song for years and I hope you love it too!