“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts:.” Psalms 139:23

You know to me, that is a scary prayer, to be honest, it probably is for most of us.

And I like many have prayed that and asked the Lord to rid me of all the self-inflicted fleshly thoughts and attitudes that we, as humans often suffer from.

I want to take a break from that thought for a minute to lighten up a bit and ask that you please forgive any misspellings you happen across in my posts, I threanen myself often in my own mind, that one day I will write a post and title it “Fun with Dyslexia”, not making fun of it, but I seriously have it! And it can making writing quite interesting, more like comical in my case.

Now that I got that out of the way and corrected many a word up to this point, let’s think about starting fresh!

Despite the cold, and the snow in my part of the world, I always make it through the winter by holding on to one single statement, “It’ll be spring soon.” sometimes we have to remind ourselves spiritually of that fact.

Back in the day, I loved it, being out the cold and walking in the snow, the Laplander in me I suppose, but after I got some age on me, I can’t quite go it. I still love to see it but now from the inside rather than out.

And on that note, sometimes the hardest sight for us to see if what is on the inside, others see us from the outside and we can present many different images, such as being brave in the face of danger when inside we are truly afraid.

Others professing us as strong, when we ourselves feel weak, and breaking.

Others may tell us we are smart, and inside we don’t even feel anything close to even being competent.

And then life has a way of bringing challenges that stretch us to our limits and push us to points we feel are past return.

Those times make that verse all important, when we invite God to examine us, and help us understand why we feel the emotions we feel, why a simple or comment can bring a reaction from us, that we had never saw coming nor could have imagined, these are the signals that the issues are in us, not necessarily all those goes on around us.

It’s getting to the root of why do they make me feel so inept? Why did that hurt me so bad? Why do I struggle with this over and over?

All emotions, all usually reactions rooted deep inside, hurt, and lack of self-worth looming, leftover from something long past.

We all have issues, I, myself have had plenty of them, like many, been through many rough spots in life, the most damaging of course, being held over the fire of an open stove at the age of five years, being threatened to be burned alive,

And that my dear friends took the power of the Holy Ghost to deliver me from the horror of that, and to say I don’t struggle at times would be comical.

But God has taught me how to look to Him and ask for His guidance in why I am experiencing something that I was shocked to feel, and He never fails to help us and guide us, and most of all heal us and make us new,and give us a fresh new start each and every day,all we have to do is ask and be willing to not only look within ourselves but allow him to advise us concerning what He already sees. 

I want to give you another passage to help on this journey, if you feel this would be for you.

Song of Solomon 4:6:“Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and the hill of frankincense.”

This is our Biblical instruction on accomplishing this very task.

When we desperately need that spiritual day break, from the gloomy days, dark evenings, and long nights life sometimes brings.

Notice if you will the use of shadows, What are shadows?

Shadows of everything past, shadows of hurt, regret, sorrow, and pain, even shadows of joyful times since gone, memories lingering playing a sorrowful song, longing of times and departed loved ones, seasons long past, seasons that changed far too fast and whispering fear and dread, threatening the emptiness that lies ahead.

Shadows, shadows that must acknowledged, shadows, whose purpose is only to attempt to block that glorious light , the light that wants to shine  ,the only force that has the power to send those shadows away, leaving clarity, peace and the hope for the dawning of a new spiritual day.

Inviting the light to conquer the shadows requires us to take action also, we start by having an honest conversation with Jesus, complete honesty about what prompted the shadows to loom, and complete honesty about what is going in our hearts, He already sees it, He knows, and He will help us, but we have to be willing to die to all those wrong thoughts and attitudes that the enemy has left us falsely believing from our time dwelt in the land of gloom.

The myrrh being the mountain, that one is the toughest, that myrrh representing the process of dying to ourselves, our old thoughts, and allowing God to minister in us His thoughts concerning us, which is love, mercy, kindness.

He only wants joy, peace, and hope for us, that is not to say bad things will never happen, that is to say, He will deliver you from the damage that has already been and help you through the what may be’s.

You are never too young, never too old for a brand new start, or even just a refreshing after a particularly tough season.

Here’s His promise.

Isaiah 46:4: “And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar (gray) hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.”

Allow Jesus to take care of all those things that you can’t on your own and find a joy and peace unlike any you have ever known in submitting yourself into His perfect will for you life and I promise you will never regret it and you will never be the same and when you look back over the years, one day you will see just how those shadows fled and how futuristic dread was turned to joy in hope of the days now ahead.

Jesus strengthens us, He holds us up when we can not stand on our own and Him living inside of us and when others see you, the will still see you, but they will see you decorated with a beauty and grace that only comes from him!

Blessings & peace till next time!

Φλογιζω NBJ 2023/ Rev N. Brown Johnson