Family night at Ye Olde Drama Ville Theater is never a one-act play and no one wants tickets to that dreadful show anyway. The script is just too predictable, the outcome a certainty, someone is always gonna go away hurt while another revels in their glory of being alpha male, or dominant female,while everyone stands by as helpless “extras” with nothing they can do, nothing they can say, just waiting it out until the dramatic star chooses to go away.
Angry at the aggressor and too sympathetic in wanting to tend the wounds of the victim, sometimes it only feeds the feelings of helplessness and personal anger for what they feel as personal weakness in “not standing up for themselves”, I said feel because reacting on the aggressors level is never what you should do.
But in reality the reason most don’t argue back is because they fear what they, themselves may be capable of if they allow those pent-up emotions to burst out in a blinding fury and it is one step across that invisible line to becoming the very thing that has tormented them.
But if you have in times past, fell into that trap, don’t beat yourself up, the Bible says for us to “live peaceably with all men, as much as lieth within you.”, Keeping peace as best as we can, but sometimes we don’t quite hit the mark when we are under attack.
Proverbs 18:14: “The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity: but a wounded spirit who can bear.”
Proverbs 17:22: “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
Proverbs 12:18: “There is that ( one who) speaketh like the piercing of a sword.”
Proverbs 15:13: “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance but by sorrow of the heart, the spirit is broken.”
This repetitive play will without a doubt leave someone’s heart pierced and their very spirit broken.
The good news is you are not required of the Lord to continue to play the starring role, as the enemy and sometimes other family members would try to sway you into believing.
The bad news, because it is the truth that is more hard to hear is this, it is up to you to quit the troop and fire the Director.
In “Blood Brothers” we discussed some biblical brothers and how a couple of them, in my opinion, did not even realize that the others really did hate them.
We all want family approval, it is inborn need to belong and be accepted by our siblings and the most painful enlightenment that we will ever go through is coming to terms with the fact that they truly do not like us as a person and that there is nothing within our mortal grasp that will change that.
Often we do not understand why the Lord doesn’t just change these things on our behalf, but the truth in that is again God only deals in free will and he will not go above what a person asks of him and even though we want them to change so that we can have a good, healthy, loving relationship with them, as God intended, if they don’t see a problem and have no remorse or repentance and no desire to change, then that is their free will and God will not go above that.
Jesus said that they hated him without a cause and a servant cannot be above his master, if they hated him they will hate you. The secret is in emulating his behavior, when you bless those that curse and pray for them, they have no accusation against you, as you have only been kind to them, when the Holy Spirit begins to deal with their heart and their actions start coming back to mind, they can find no justification through your behavior toward them to explain to God their own actions. God then uses this to bring about repentance, true remorse for their actions so they then may be saved and that is our goal.
Now digging the blood transfusion, when we have accepted Christ as our Savior, we are covered by his blood, we are made partakers with his blood and become new creatures, adopted through that blood into the household of God himself.
We become heirs and joint-heirs with Christ and even though we still have an earthy family, our main family is heavenly and the only dinner we have to be sure to make an appearance at is the wedding supper of the Lamb!
Just as Abram had to leave his family in order to fulfill God’s purpose, sometimes we also have to “forget those things which are behind and press toward the mark of that high calling”. When we must “leave” (emotionally) our families or friends it is then, that the word of God promises us that God will pick us up, Jesus said he will be our mother, brother, sister, whatever family position that is broken and empty, Jesus himself will fill that void.
He is a friend that will stick closer than a brother.
So accept that transfusion freely, be diligent, when you find your mind running through the past, replace those thoughts with scripture and things of God, And lean on your church family for support.
Before I had even be called I had been in a battle, a fierce unbelievable battle and I went to church and heard words that I still cling to today, a brother had been singing and he stopped, this guy is on the quite side as far as speaking and I think that made it hit home even more, but he said that we should always remember no matter what we are going through or how alone we feel that someone else is either going through the same thing or has already been through it.
We often look at others as “perfect” people who haven’t a care in the world and that freak show stuff just happens to us but you will never find a Christian who does not have a testimony that will nine times out of ten leave you in tears, it is part of the overcoming we all must endure, the very reason your church family is a major factor in walking away from relationships you just don’t need in your life and being accepted by Christ is the only acceptance we need.
But never give up on them, pray for them, and as I said before once you give that gentle answer back when they are attacking you, just walk away, you have to, and when you have been in a very terrible argument and maybe threats have been made or your feelings are just really hurt, here are some scriptures that I believe will help, but again lean on your church family, talk to your Pastor or trusted prayer partners, pray together, there is strength in that but please don’t jeopardize your personal safety by continuing in it.
Psalm 56:3,4: “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God will I praise his word, In God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh (people) can do unto me.”
Psalm 118:6 :”The Lord is on my side; I will not fear:What can man do unto me.”
Psalm 56:9 : “When I cry unto thee, then shall my enemies turn back: This I know, for God is with me.”
Romans 8:31:”What shall we then say to these things? “If God be for us, who can be against us?”
Psalm 56:8 :”Thou tellest ( you know) my wanderings; Put thou my tears unto thy bottle: are they not written in thy book?”
God sees and keeps record of our pain, one day all the tears that we have shed, that He is very aware of will be returned to us in pure joy !
James 1:2,3:”My brethren, (brothers and sisters of Apostle Paul through Christ) count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations (various trails) knowing this, that the trying of ( relying on) your faith worketh (produces) patience.”
Just say no, just walk away, don’t play the game and don’ star in that role!
“Proverbs 23:24,25: “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go (stay away from them); Lest thou learn his ways and get a snare to thy soul.”
Anger will “jump” and it is like an infectious disease and it is contagious and you do not want to catch it.
2 Samuel 22:47,49:“The Lord liveth, and blessed be my rock; and exalted be the God of the rock of my salvation . And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man.”
Psalm 140:1,4: “Deliver me O Lord, from the evil man: Preserve me from the violent man: keep me from the hands of the wicked; Preserve me from the violent man, who has purposed to overthrow my goings (tried to cause us to stumble).”
Isaiah 12:2:”Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the lord Jehovah is my strength and my song: He also is become my salvation .”
It is my sincerest prayer that for all who may be in holiday dread because of theses things will find comfort in God’s word, remember as you study these for yourself, use a reference Bible that will lead you to other scriptures dealing with the same subject.
God often uses this to lead us to other scripture, which will be perfect for whatever our battle is at that present time and it is in the quite times that God will speak to you through his word and send you comfort and peace.
Remember Jesus said for us to be of good cheer, because he had overcome the world and sometimes for us, we must overcome those we actually hold dear. May God bless you and keep you and give you true peace this season.
Φλογιζω NBJ 2015 Original post: 11/2015
REVISITED 11/19/2021, I wanted to revisited several of these posts, as I had originally written them to address the topic dysfunctional and toxic relationships and the dread it can make of holidays approaching.I will be revisiting this series over the course of this week, but several are linked below, which link to the others in that particular series.
I do pray if you are wrestling with this dilemma that these posts will be not only a comfort, but an encouragement to you. Jesus is the Prince of Peace and peace is exactly what he wants for you, so have your joy in a relationship with him and do not allow yourself to be treated as less than the precious life that he created you to be. Φλογιζω NBJ/2021 Rev. Nina Brown Johnson