“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest thy be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

Our fathers, the first and foremost man in our formative years. And if you have a good one, that is great and will be a guaranteed blessing over your entire life. But what about the fathers who are warned in the verse above?

This verse is actually almost verbatim in Ephesians 6:4:” And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture (training) and admonition OF the Lord.”  

So we are being told what NOT to do and exactly what we should do. Children who are constantly “ridden” by their parents, who are made to feel whether intentionally or unintentionally that they are never quite good enough, or “perform” well enough to “earn” the love that they should have naturally received from that parent.

I do know this verse specifies fathers, but we know the damage mothers can do is equally as damaging.

And we could pull a truck load of stats on the completely dysfunctional mother/son relationships that are often prominent among serial killers.

So what I want to focus on the relationship of fathers to daughters and the relationships that are formed later in life.

I also want to bring into the mix the fact that often when women have had extremely dominating fathers and whether that consisted of physical abuse alongside the obvious emotional damage that is caused, that seems to put the pattern in place.

But testosterone is a funny thing and soul debilitating dominance lorded over women is not ALWAYS by their fathers. It can come later in life through a boyfriend, husband, or even male friends who can become quite the material for a medieval tale of when black knights begin to suffer from white knight syndrome .

When “friendship” leads to the need to control your life, and demand answers for your every move that is no longer friendship, that IS control. Male dominance has been and is still our toughest battle regardless of what role that male has in our life.

But for some, it is a short path from growing up with a horrid father to marrying an even worse husband.

So how did it start? People taking the word of God and their DISTORTED view of God and applying THEIR carnality to it. Just as God answered it in his word: 

Judges 21:25: “In those days there was no king in Israel: EVERY MAN DID THAT WHICH WAS RIGHT IN HIS OWN EYES.”

And things have certainly NOT been right and are still NOT right.

But with the revelation of Isaiah 33:22: “For the Lord IS our judge, the Lord IS our lawgiver, the Lord IS our king; HE WILL SAVE US.”

We know things can and must change. Cruelty and wickedness hiding behind the disguise of goodness and righteousness is nothing new.

The devil himself pretending through the serpent to be a friend to Eve, the wicked all through the Bible whispering into the ears of those who would hear, plans of how to destroy another and thereby having them also destroy themselves.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” taken so far out of context and USED specifically as a Biblical justification for nothing more than truly sadistic people to senselessly beat children.

If you doubt me on that, web search a few cases of children being adopted and even born into supposedly christian families taken away, rescued out of horrendous abuse. People have even written books advocating these UNGODLY practices.

The old Testament ALSO had a law on stoning your son.. IF he were  a drunkard.. how many little kids drink again?

Listen what Jesus told the Pharisees when they were hassling him about the OT marriage laws.

Mark 10:3-5; “And he answered and said,unto them, What did Moses command you? and they said, Moses suffered (PERMITTED) to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 

And Jesus answered and said unto them, (Because) For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.”

Meaning that they WERE given these severe laws because of their own hardness.

But God reveals His thoughts through His word, James 2:13: “For he SHALL have judgment WITHOUT mercy who hath shewed (shown) NO MERCY; and mercy rejoiceth against (TRIUMPHS OVER) judgment.” 

It is like this, just because we are technically allowed to do something DOES NOT mean that is what God desires for us to do it.

Micah 6:8:” He hath shewed thee, O man, ( all people), what IS good; and what doth (does) the Lord require of thee,  but to do justly and LOVE MERCY (loving kindness),and to walk humbly with thy God? 

So if all of this coupled with stories such as when the angel of the Lord put the smack down on Balaam and lined him out for hitting the donkey (Numbers 22:27-33),  doesn’t prove that God want us to ALL be kind toward each other and to also BE treated kindly, I don’t know what more could.

Just as treating children harshly came from the thoughts of people doing what they wanted.

We also got pulled into the “submission” trap. The Bible does truly say, “wives submit unto your own husbands” but again that is something that has been taken and RAN wild with, as if we were some sort of inferior creation that God placed here for men.

Oh I don’t think so.

Submission means to RESPECT your husband, to care about his feelings and not treat him like dirt, don’t make fun of him, and emotionally emasculate him by being that “brawling” woman spoken of in Proverbs.

God’s intentions for this was that the husband SHOULD be exactly what His word said for him to be.

And in this a husband was to be “submitted” to, as in a place of safety and a place of trust, such as that verse goes on to say “as unto the Lord”.

And I would love to hear the excuses that so many are going to try to give the Lord as to why they betrayed this TRUST that he had given them with their wives and children, and it’s not going to be a pretty picture!

So it DOES NOT mean we are subservient, or a lesser in God’s eyes.

It means that we SHOULD have that protective, nurturing, place if we ever need and at times we all do.

We covered His word in the last post of how He EXPECTS His daughters to be treated and seeing that even in a nation where women have many rights and “hold our own” we can all attest to our numbers of domestic violence, for all the strides we have made, in this area, we have gone backward!

We ARE more free. We HAVE more resources. We HAVE better laws and protection. So what went wrong? Why do we have these statistics that say we are NOT free by any stretch of imagination?

We are still trapped somewhere in our psyches by the lies of the past and the misogynistic teachings of generations before and we want to HIDE that pain and we are giving over to absolutely FALSE sense of shame by not speaking out.

That is what the enemy WANTS and just as he lied to Eve, he is lying to so many women about their past and keeping them in a “strangle hold” that prevents them from moving FORWARD.

Merriam-Webster definition two of the term “STRANGLE HOLD” is this: “A FORCE OR INFLUENCE THAT CHOKES OR SUPPRESSES FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT OR EXPRESSION.”  

If we have that past or are presently living with dominance, harshness, physical, or emotional abuse that is exactly what is happening to us.

The reason the devil has perfected it is because if you have had these experiences with men, especially fathers or husbands, HOW on earth can you “submit” to a being who is male?

When women are brainwashed into BELIEVING that they are subservient and God hates them, why would they seek Him?

The devil bagged and tagged on this one and we have to stop him!

We stop him by NOT taking anyone’s word for who we are or who God created us to be. Study God’s word and discover for yourself!

And when you reach the verses stating that “women are to be silent” and  “i suffer not a woman to teach…” STUDY the background with a good dictionary/history Bible and you will find that Paul was talking to a specific group of people AT THAT TIME. Because a group of women were “gunning” for him and trying to bring in false teachings and for that PERIOD IN TIME, he forbade them to speak so he could PROTECT the Gospel.

Need a little more reassurance, dig this, Galatians 3:23,28: “But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith that should afterwards be revealed.

Wherefore  the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

But after THAT faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster. For YE ALL ARE THE CHILDREN OF GOD by faith in Jesus Christ. 

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ.  There is NEITHER Jew nor Greek,  there is NEITHER bond nor free, THERE IS NEITHER MALE NOR FEMALE; FOR YE ARE ALL ONE IN CHRIST.”

That is a good verse to put to anyone who wants to argue Paul’s teachings with you…. he wrote that. He wrote the verses used to silence women and he wrote the verse that proved otherwise,  all true, but taken out of context by those who WANT to twist those verses to justify their own prejudices.

It’s time to separate God from the men who claim to represent him! If you are dealing with these issues or dealing with the past issues, PLEASE talk to Him, talk to Him just as if he were in the room sitting there.

I promise He does hear and tell Him how you feel, TRUTHFULLY how you feel, if you end up in tears and “I HATE…” starts coming out of your mouth, LET IT COME because the only way we recover is through submitting that to God and HE KNOWS how we feel and when you have been hurt and are trying to work past it.

God is not going to hold that against you, it is normal to feel that way and once you let it go, you will NO LONGER feel that.

But you have to get it out, ALL of it, at His feet, Hebrews 4:15: “For we have NOT an high priest which cannot be touched WITH THE FEELINGS OF OUR INFIRMITIES…” 

Which means Jesus suffered through all the things we do and HE DOES UNDERSTAND any possible thing you could tell Him and he understands with love, compassion, and gentleness toward you and He wants to take it away and give you peace and be those protective arms that hold you through your tears.

But first we must decide that we are slaves no more and no more will we live in the devil’s strangle hold.

There is NO shame in having been a victim and there is courage in admitting that you are a survivor. There is NO shame in needing out NOW and fear is perfectly normal when fighting for your freedom.

We just have to decide which we are WILLING to be. Think about these verses: Isaiah 53:4-6,11: ” Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed; neither shall thou be confounded (disgraced); for thou shalt not be put to shame; for thou SHALT FORGET the shame of thy youth, and SHALT NOT REMEMBER the reproach of thy widowhood any more. 

For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. 

For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused (suffered rejection) saith thy God.  

O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, (tormented and battered by ‘storm”)  and NOT comforted. behold, I WILL lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy FOUNDATIONS with sapphires.”

He knows, and He alone can give us that comfort that we have not been given, He alone see the pain of every season we can go through.

And He alone can lay for us that beautiful foundation, built upon Him and His TRUTH. Trust Him, know Him and most of all, let Him know you!

Related posts: “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those most to this, my main site. Thank you

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

Revisited post: 06/15/2019

 

 

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth (observes) all of his goings. His own iniquities shall take (entrap) the wicked himself, and he shall be holden (caught) with the cords (binding ropes) of his own sin.” Proverbs 5:21,22

Going to go a little in reverse with these scriptures. But I do have a question, why is ABUSE among family or spouses “domestic” abuse?

Of course I am being  a little flip here, but does it mean it is “tame” and completely unlike random “stranger” attacks?  Is is permissible BECAUSE it is interwoven into a family unit? Obviously so and THAT is the problem and THAT is why we are so quick to dismiss it.

But as I said with the start of this. GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE ABUSED, MISTREATED IN ANY WAY, OR EVEN MILDLY “TALKED DOWN” TO.

I have asked this question many times, but if God wanted this for ANYONE, male or female (because there ARE many abused men also) why on earth would Jesus have allowed Himself to be tortured and beaten before the crucifixion?

WHY would He had went through that IF His will was for His children to be in abusive relationships?

And so many women have suffered senselessly having been BRAINWASHED by the notion that this IS God’s will because they had taken vows.

What about the common “To LOVE, HONOR, and CHERISH” vow, most men have taken?

And of course we are all outraged at the treatment women suffer through in many more oppressed parts of the world, (as WE should be) BUT if as Americans our rates of abuse are through the roof, HOW can we encourage and be examples to others to fight for that freedom, if we allow ourselves to be victims behind closed doors?

Got to get our own houses in order before we tell others how to arrange their furniture.

And people could ask of me, what gives me a right to speak about any of it, well, as with this blog’s title, I have learned a lot at the feet of Jesus, and I have been through A LOT and I can point to my own teen years, restraining order and later living through the nightmare of acquaintance stalking (which I will probably share my story soon about, that one is still a tough one and I have wrestled with just how far I want to go with that).

But through it all, Those experiences ARE what lead me to God and how I do understand the”cause and effect” of the aftermath of falling into the traps the enemy has set for us and the self-destructive road it will lead us down, IF we do not seek divine intervention BEFORE we hit that intersection.

We all start in the SAME place, we want to be loved and we want to be accepted but people who have been hurt, and wounded TEND to attract predators and the reason for this, as it was explained to me, is that they literally sense that vulnerability in you and this explains why it is OVER and OVER and OVER for so many UNTIL the let the Lord break that yoke.

Because it IS a yoke. And it IS a yoke of desiring freedom for others BUT believing deep down inside that you yourself DO NOT deserve that freedom and that mindset is just part of the grand trap and I know with the American numbers of one in three women who ARE living in these relationships, obviously someone or many someones FEEL this way.

My starting verse I chose because of something a guy actually told me once that his girlfriend had said to him, and people wear many “faces” and usually the guys we come to discover have been so dreadful to their mates ARE the very ones, most likely voted to be, well, “less likely” and have high praise from others and with the same eeriness that interviewed neighbors of serial killers often portray, the echoed words are usually, “He SEEMED like such a great guy…..” and statements such as, “He was ALWAYS polite and courteous….” classic!

And Lucifer was ALSO the most beautiful of God’s creations and can TRANSFORM into an “angel of light” BUT he is still the same old evil being, just dressed up in a more appealing costume.

That is the thing, UNTIL we as a society and individuals DECIDE to have  a zero tolerance for how we allow OURSELVES to be treated, it is not going to stop.

The cycles are not going to end and without God and determination that it stops, those generational chains of not only being prone to becoming an abuser but also those chains of being psychologically prone to becoming  a victim, are never going to come off.

And everyone HAS to stop making excuses for others, male, female, whatever. If you feel like you have to make excuses for how they treat you, YOU DO NOT NEED THAT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.

I want to break this into two groups. Marital and non-martial. But we run into one more problem that needs dealt with when tackling this subject.

God INTENDED for sexual relationships to be under the sanctification of marriage, SO if you are in a relationship that has become sexual, SPIRITUALLY, you ARE already “married” to that person and the soul damage is still going to be just as great.

Everyone likes to argue the fact, that you don’t “need a piece of paper” to prove love.

Well, in this case, is not the paper, it IS the act of consummation that does it.

Satan has turned people against marriage and commitment based on the “freedom” theory.

The lack of marriage does NOT protect you from anything and can actually set people up for far worse.

So we are running our scriptures from that point, the word of God concerning, men, women, love, and marriage. 

MARRIAGE: 1 Corinthians 7: 2-15: ” Nevertheless, to avoid fornication (which IS still a sin, regardless of what the world has to say) let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render due benevolence (affection); and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife {are you seeing this is MUTUAL teaching?}

Defraud (deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that satan tempt you NOT for your incontinency. 

But I speak this by permission, and NOT of commandment. {Paul was expressly HIS heart-felt beliefs on the subject}

For I would (wish) that all were even as myself (celibate). But every man (person) hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say this to the unmarried and widows.

It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they can not contain (exercise control), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

But and IF she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away (divorce) his wife.

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord; If any brother hath a wife that believeth NOT, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him NOT put her away.

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and he be pleased to dwell with her, let her NOT leave him.

For the unbelieving husband IS sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife IS sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

But if the unbelieving depart, LET HIM DEPART. A brother or sister IS NOT under bondage in SUCH cases: but GOD HATH CALLED US TO PEACE.” 

You can see from these scriptures that there IS equality and that there IS times that we should part ways with each other. Paul was so careful to address the differences between what is acceptable for believers and for those who are not yet.

But NO ONE is under bondage to another human being.

Same chapter, verse 23, declares this beautifully: “Ye are BOUGHT with a price; BE YE NOT SERVANTS OF MEN.”

Think about the starter verse from part 1 in this series, ” ..for OF whom a man (person) IS overcome, OF THE SAME IS HE BROUGHT IN BONDAGE.”

God DOES deliver us, God saves us, BUT if we can easily allow ourselves snared BACK into that same trap and just stick the title of “love” on it.

Bad relationships have NOTHING to do with love. Think about these verses:

1 John 4:18: “There is NO fear in love; but perfect love (God’s love) casteth OUT fear; because FEAR HATH TORMENT….” 

1 Corinthians 13 :4-8: “Charity (LOVE) suffereth long (long-suffering means endurance in difficult situations)and IS KIND; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not: (doesn’t brag on) itself, is NOT puffed up (prideful).

Doth NOT behave itself unseemly (rudely)seeketh NOT her own (isn’t self absorbed),  is NOT easily provoked (does NOT fly into fits of rage),  thinketh NO evil;

Rejoiceth NOT in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, Believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity (LOVE) NEVER FAILS….” 

So back to the beginning.. WHAT exactly does the Lord see when He sees interactions between couples?

Malachi 2:14,15: “Yet ye say, Wherefore (why)? Because the Lord HAS BEEN WITNESS BETWEEN THEE AND THE WIFE OF THY YOUTH, AGAINST WHOM THOU HAST DEALT TREACHEROUSLY; 

YET, SHE IS THY COMPANION, AND THE WIFE OF THY COVENANT.

And did he not make one? { God’s marriage commandment that TWO SHALL BECOME AS ONE} Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed (children). THEREFORE TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, AND LET NONE DEAL TREACHEROUSLY AGAINST THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH.”

Colossians 3:11: “Husbands LOVE your wives and BE NOT BITTER AGAINST THEM.” 

EPHESIANS 5:25-33: “Husbands LOVE your wives, EVEN AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT:

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 

SO OUGHT MEN TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES, He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For NO man ever yet hate his own flesh; but NOURISHETH AND CHERISHETH IT, EVEN AS THE LORD THE CHURCH:

FOR WE ARE MEMBERS OF HIS BODY, HIS FLESH, AND OF HIS BONES, 

FOR THIS CAUSE SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL BE JOINED UNTO HIS WIFE, AND THEY TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH.

 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

Nevertheless LET EVERY ONE OF YOU IN PARTICULAR SO LOVE HIS WIFE EVEN AS HIMSELF; AND THE WIFE SEE THAT SHE REVERENCES (RESPECTS) HER HUSBAND.” 

Ask yourself this, does the relationship you are in fit THIS criteria?

Does the love you feel from the other person fit THIS criteria?

Or does that “love” come with the “torment” of fear?

Think about it and please join me next time and we’ll see what the Bible says about dealing with angry people,and the truth about submission, you might be quite surprised.

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

To read series:     “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

                                “Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

                                “Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those posts to this, my main site. Thank you

Revisited post: 6/13/2019

MOTHERS, THE BEJEWELMENT TO THE CROWN OF THE KING

**** FROM MY ARCHIVES but the love and sentiment that we all feel for this special day never changes, neither did this thought.***

Mothers, we are formed in their bodies, they feed us, diaper us, love us and nurture us. They dry our tears and relieve all our fears. They chase the boogey men away. Spend sleepless nights by our bedside when we are sick.  

Their love and patience pours over us as we spend hours crying through all the heartaches of puppy love and the growing pains that only a Mother’s comfort can see us through.
My own mother always had an awesome ability that allowed her even in the worst possible circumstance to see so beyond the crisis at hand and see a better time in the future.
And I have truly been through a thing or two, including having to file for a restraining order at the ripe old age of eighteen and my mother always reassured me of several things.
#1. Things always look brighter after a good night sleep. We often worry about bad things that never actually happen.
#2. No matter how bad that day may seem, one day we really do look back and whatever it was that almost broke us will seem like a nightmare that never really even happened.
#3. An old, old one which is true and will always be true, whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
You know she was right on all counts and she still is!
I always thought if I could even be half the woman she is I would do well. She is beautiful inside and out and has such a dignity and grace about her that is almost regal and loves Jesus more than life itself.
Mothers are like beautiful jewels, they come in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes. Each one exquisitely crafted by the Master’s hand.
Maybe your birth mother or maybe the mother God chose just for you by joining you together through adoption. 

Maybe He chose your Grandmother or Aunt as the defining maternal hand to guide you, love you, teach you, and above all nurture you in Him.
Nevertheless we all know there is no one, no one like our Mother.
The relationship between Mary and Jesus is such a beautiful example of this one of a kind bond.
We know the story, Mary the blessed virgin, to whom an angel came to proclaim that she would give birth to the Son of the Almighty God, who had in fact created her.
Without a doubt she was scared to death, how do you conceive without a mate? An answer which came when she was overshadowed by the Holy Ghost.
How do you knowingly carry the Son of God inside your body?
How do you tell your future husband and your family that this is true and it really happened to you?
How do you travel ninety miles on a donkey and give birth in a stable surrounded by his beautiful animal creations knowing this child is the one to save all of creation?
How do you accept the gifts of frankincense, gold, and myrrh brought from far away lands by wise men on bended knee who
have been led there by a star to pay honor and tribute to the King of all Kings?
How do react when the shepherds come to worship him, relaying that the message of  his arrival had been proclaimed to them by the host of heaven who proceeded to sing praises to the glory of God in the Highest as heaven came down and kissed earth?
How do you give the offering of the poorest of poor when dedicating him, never, ever worrying about providing for him?
How do you hear a prophecy from one who had been promised he would not see death until he beheld the face of this promised child, when that prophecy is that “a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also”?
As this child grows and maternal instincts take over, as he is held, loved, learns to crawl, walk and says his first words, has his first bumps and bruises and one day decides to stay behind and talk with the elders rather than join the caravan his family travelled with.
How do you understand, when you ask why he did this and he asks you “Did you not know I must be about my Father’s business?”, I will tell you how, he was her baby, even though he was divine, she knew he was God’s son but she was human and she was his mother and like all of us, that was her baby and as she watched him grow, he became what he was. Her son whom she loved more than life itself.
Fast forward twenty-one years after pondering what did he mean by this, as he begins his ministry and watching his miracles (she had to know he held this power because she asked him to do something for her friends at the wedding when he turned the water into wine, which was his first public display of this power) she watched as her own people hated him and threatened his life, she watched as his ministry grew.
She knew of his arrest and public torture and finally seeing him bloody, beaten beyond recognition and carrying a wooden beam to his execution, his battered body falling under the weight of it. And unable to go to him, to hold him, to touch his face, to tell him everything would be okay and this was still her baby and there was nothing in the universe she could do to stop it because it was the piercing of her soul. There would be no words to describe her sorrow.
How could her beautiful son who hung nailed to a cross, nearing death look down and want to be sure his mother would be cared for before dying, because he was her firstborn son.
John 19:25-27 “Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.
When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, (John) he saith unto his mother Woman, behold thy son!
Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.” 
They seriously wrote the book, the ultimate story of love between a mother and child,and a wonderful example to us about the love and respect we should have for own mothers.
I hope all have a blessed Mother’s Day and if you have lost your Mother, rejoice in knowing just as Jesus and Mary we reunited and are together forever and ever, you will be also. And if  you know a lady who maybe has lost her children or they are “too busy” for her, please, please consider “adopting” her for Mother’s Day. A card, flowers or just a visit can change her world. Because loneliness is one “disease” we can cure! Remember Jesus said if you do it for one of his little one’s (saints) you’ve done it for him!
Because He is the King and these ladies are precious, precious jewels that help make up his Majestic crown! They are precious to him!
Φλογίζω 2014

Parental Guidance Highly Suggested

“Hear O Israel: The Lord our God is one God. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heartand thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and thou shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Trying to determine true statics on kids and Christianity is like the proverbial needle in the haystack.

But it is very fair to say considering the verse above that it doesn’t really matter what school stats would suggest because this is parental responsibility.

According to the history on it, “Sunday school” was started in Britain as a way of not only helping the street children, but also teaching them about God and educating them.

And in our country schools used mainly the word of God as a teaching tools for reading and writing.

Many of our early leaders WERE self-taught, the Bible being the number one book used for that purpose.

So it is not a shocker that schools of yesteryear were safe learning place that parents could entrust their children to, of course you have to take the corporal punishment out of that equation, I for one absolutely do not agree with hitting or spanking, or any form of physical violence as a method of discipline or learning “incentive”.

But they were something else in the old days as far as the term “strong disciplinarians” could go.

My mother has horror stories of the days when children were paddled for not knowing their multiplication table. And as she said, if you miss one you were sure to miss another. It is just absolutely wrong for anyone other than a parent to have that kind of authority over a child.

But we have as a society  given entirely too much power to influence the minds and more importantly the SOULS of our children to the “world” schools, and even religious organizations.

As we know when prayer and the teachings of God were removed form public schools replaced with Darwinism and the absolute intelligence insulting nonsense of the big bang and evolution, we invited the moral downfall of society as we knew it.

And at the end of the day it is up to each one of us to take back that power, that back that authority that we have blindly given others BECAUSE God only gave that authority to parents.

I have heard people remark after being called out about saying or doing things that are not right in front of their children, only to reply that “They hear worse at school” and everyone could argue the filth that they see on television and movies and even argue that at some point they “will be exposed to it anyway” but here is the deal, EVEN if they hear bad language at school, they should NOT hear it at home. EVEN if they have saw filth on television, you have to ask, WHO is monitoring that television? WHO is watching over what they are watching, witnessing, and being exposed to?

Remember PG for PARENTAL GUIDANCE? That is NOT just for television. God expects us to use our PG authority in all areas of our children’s lives and even if children are grown adults, they are STILL your children. 

No matter what mistakes have been made in the past, the present and future can be changed for the better by enacting that parental guidance in our own lives, by being the example that God intended for us to be.

And as long as we have breath in these bodies, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE! That is why God told US to teach our own children, of course we can not protect the from the world and the things in the world but at the end of the day, what are taught by parents and family will outweigh those other influences.

And of course people can fall in with the “wrong crowd” and go completely “hog wild” as the saying goes, kinda reminiscent of the Prodigal son there, but have hope in this.

Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he WILL NOT depart from it.”

Most of us have been guilty of running amok in our youth, (some of us seriously amok) but there is so much comfort in knowing that God ALWAYS has His eyes on us AND our children.

That is why it is so important for those who are new to Christ to STAY in Christ because we are PROMISED our households and our families to a thousand generations, we are NOT saved just for the sake of being saved.

As part of that salvation, we are to lead others to Him, that His light may also shine into their lives also and  that light radiates and it touches so many others, which is why when one family member accepts Christ usually the others soon follow.

It ONLY takes one person to STAND up and declare faith in Jesus to influence many generations.

Think about it as we start a New Year, if you have a school aged child KNOW who is teaching them and what they are being taught and do not be afraid to speak AGAINST those things that are against God because you are actually the one with the GREATER influence.

And if you doubt that, think of it in the negative, think about all the people who belong to hate groups BECAUSE they were BORN into hate groups and we ARE products of our environment and once that environment changes WE CAN CHANGE ALSO.

This kinda goes with my “when in Rome” thought, it has been on my heart and mind so much that THIS has to change. Take back your place in the family and take back your heritage in the Lord.

Psalm 127:3,4: ” Lo, (OT for pay attention) Children ARE an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of thy womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

We ARE blessed with children. We ARE entrusted of God with those children and they are HIS and we are privileged with the task of nurturing their hearts, their souls, and their minds and guide them on their journey into adulthood but even more so in discovering  WHO HE CREATED THEM TO BE.

And the greatest reflection that will show in them is WHO we understand HE created US to be.

So as you make your resolutions for this New Year, think about what you want for your family, if you don’t have kids, think about maybe another family member. We all struggle, we all need help at different times in life, and we can all be a light, and especially as parents, be that parental guide for your child, no matter how young or old they are because you lead and they will follow, maybe not in a split second, but stay on the Lord’s path and they will… just as scripture tells us, NOT depart from that way.

So be that example this year, even when you don’t feel like being an example.. BE ONE.

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2018

 

Parental guidance #2 “KNOW them”

1 Thessalonians 5:12: “And we beseech you, (urgently, fervently, implore) brethren , to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish (instruct) you; 

Now of course if you are going to study the Bible, it is imperative that you read ALL verses before, after, and cross-reference to get the full meanings.

And another secret to it all it that often part of a thought or an account of something will be in one book and the “rest of the story” as Paul Harvey would have said, it to be found somewhere else.

Some can even go between the Old Testament and the New Testament, which is a killer for those who want to argue that the Old Testament is archaic and we do not have to live by any of it now… not quite true.

The other reason I believe that God had it arranged this way it to actually fulfill part of what He said as recorded in Matthew 13:13: “Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.” 

He went on to expound on what had been written by the Prophet Isaiah as to the reasoning behind this. And this arrangement becomes quite a formidable foe to those who attempt to twist the word of God and use HIS own scripture to seemingly contradict itself.

Years ago I was watching a “History” show on Sodom and Gomorrah ( I KNOW better but sometimes I just do it to see how far out they can go) and the thing with this particular take was that they were NOT disputing the destruction of Sodom, they WERE disputing the REASON it was destroyed.

So the “expert” reads the Old Testament account and concludes that the Bible NEVER states that the destruction was due to sexual immorality.

BUT actually the Bible DOES state it only it is found in the NEW Testament and in the Book of Jude. And unfortunately the untold MILLIONS of people who watched this show and took the “expert” opinion on the subject viewed this as the Gospel and were now given even MORE free range to sin at will with no expected Divine repercussions for that sin.

And THAT is the ONLY reason so much as been done on the subject over the last twenty years. it is NOT to promote the kingdom it is to attempt to pacify those who believe and know that God does truly exist but still want to hang onto sinful lifestyles, and these “experts” have done a marvelous job of it!

Which why there are so many false, pagan churches today who claim the name of Jesus Christ but would not know Him if He “walked into the room” actually as soon as He started to teach repentance, hell, and judgment, just as He DID while He walked earth, He would be escorted to the door, accused of sedition and running off the congregation… HEY, doesn’t THAT sound rather familiar?

And the leaders would quickly apologize to those who had been OFFENDED by those hurtful words regarding the REQUIRED standards of KINGDOM living.

Something else sounds quite familiar also…  when Jesus spoke into confirmation more words prophesied of old and as with THAT generation, they ring ever so true AGAIN in ours…

Matthew 15:7-9: “Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophecy of you, saying, THIS PEOPLE DRAWETH NIGH UNTO ME WITH THEIR MOUTH, AND HONOURETH ME WITH THEIR LIPS; BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR FROM ME. BUT IN VAIN THEY DO WORSHIP ME, TEACHING FOR DOCTRINES THE COMMANDMENTS OF MEN.” 

Now THAT is an expert opinion on the subject!!!

Notice HE did say that they WORSHIPPED Him but because it was not worship of the heart and it was NOT of His teaching BUT of man’s own thoughts TAUGHT as doctrine, that worship WAS and STILL IS in vain.

Making it absolutely WORTHLESS.

So now that we have that covered. KNOWING those who labor among you, KNOWING their LIVES, how they live AT home, HOW they treat their families and friends. That is a kind of knowing that we need NOW more than ever.

I truly believe that there is a shift that God wants for the “church” we NEED to turn back to Him in the type of service and worship that He intended.

Seek those “old paths” as the Bible instructs of us. I still fail to completely understand why there was ever a need felt to “fix” something that was NEVER broken.

I am talking about “youth groups” and before you get all mad at me and stop reading… Just WAIT and HEAR me out!

I am NOT talking about kids services provided by ONE church with ONE pastor who is over the ENTIRE FLOCK and KNOWS what they are being taught and more so WHO is teaching them. I am talking about the “youth” craze and culture of huge conferences of music and “worship” by travelling “youth leaders” and organizations that kids and teens are being herded off to.

I had a conversation with a person who had a horrible experience at a youth conference, most chilling thing was what they said about it, that “parents NEED to go with their kids and see what is going on and what is being taught.” 

With parents and I personally believe half the time church leaders THEMSELVES knowing NOTHING about these people other than rave reviews and mass numbers of attendance Satan has really ran a gambit with that one too, so much has become about the NUMBERS not the souls.

Anyone remember David getting into some serious trouble with God for NUMBERING Israel? 

It is NOT the quantity it is the QUALITY. We ARE to be rearing up a generation for the Lord, to take over ministry reins and why do we want to trust those babies to people and DOCTRINES that may NOT even be the same truths that we as a family hold?

And I will admit it can be quite groovy when a parent who does NOT attend church sends their kid’s to summer Bible school, but tell you a little secret.. that child is LEARNING the most important lessons of life from YOU.

You want them saved the best thing you can do is accept Christ yourself. Parents who also treat church as a secondary life choice, you know go when it is convenient or there isn’t something else planned are also setting their children up to have this same attitude, when the Lord said that He would “spew” us out of His mouth for being lukewarm.

And people who “discipline” children during church, I will admit that I have left services because of this, the me in me wants to shake the parents and tell them to try hitting someone who hits back.

Sorry, it is the truth.. if all a kid knows the house of God to be is a place where you must sit and be a soldier or else get spanked WHY on earth would they want to go there when they grow up and NEED to feel safe and loved during tough seasons of life?

No. all they will associate it with is discipline and as Paul said “When I was a CHILD, I THOUGHT AS A CHILD” and Jesus LOVES those babies!

As parents we have ALL made mistakes, I have made A LOT and I am sure most everyone has too but these are things we can CHANGE!

We know that we are in the “great falling away” we also know that we are PROMISED the last day outpouring, so we also KNOW that these two have to meet in the middle.

As the old song says… “Give me that OLD TIME religion.. it WAS good enough for Momma, it is good enough for me…”

Get back to basics, worship TOGETHER as a FAMILY as God intended.

And if you have been blessed to be called as an overseer of a flock remember a little something GOD CALLED YOU OVER THAT FLOCK, HE DID NOT TELL YOU TO HIRE IT OUT.

TAKE YOUR FAMILY BACK IN 2018!

Εξυπνιζω Σαλπιζω NBJ 2018

Part one /  Parental Guidance Highly Suggested

 

“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest thy be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

Our fathers, the first and foremost man in our formative years. And if you have a good one, that is great and will be a guaranteed blessing over your entire life. But what about the fathers who are warned in the verse above?

This verse is actually almost verbatim in Ephesians 6:4:” And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture (training) and admonition OF the Lord.”  

So we are being told what NOT to do and exactly what we should do. Children who are constantly “ridden” by their parents, who are made to feel whether intentionally or unintentionally that they are never quite good enough, or “perform” well enough to “earn” the love that they should have naturally received from that parent.

I do know this verse specifies fathers, but we know the damage mothers can do is equally as damaging.

And we could pull a truck load of stats on the completely dysfunctional mother/son relationships that are often prominent among serial killers.

So what I want to focus on the relationship of fathers to daughters and the relationships that are formed later in life.

I also want to bring into the mix the fact that often when women have had extremely dominating fathers and whether that consisted of physical abuse alongside the obvious emotional damage that is caused, that seems to put the pattern in place.

But testosterone is a funny thing and soul debilitating dominance lorded over women is not ALWAYS by their fathers. It can come later in life through a boyfriend, husband, or even male friends who can become quite the material for a medieval tale of when black knights begin to suffer from white knight syndrome .

When “friendship” leads to the need to control your life, and demand answers for your every move that is no longer friendship, that IS control. Male dominance has been and is still our toughest battle regardless of what role that male has in our life.

But for some, it is a short path from growing up with a horrid father to marrying an even worse husband.

So how did it start? People taking the word of God and their DISTORTED view of God and applying THEIR carnality to it. Just as God answered it in his word: 

Judges 21:25: “In those days there was no king in Israel: EVERY MAN DID THAT WHICH WAS RIGHT IN HIS OWN EYES.”

And things have certainly NOT been right and are still NOT right.

But with the revelation of Isaiah 33:22: “For the Lord IS our judge, the Lord IS our lawgiver, the Lord IS our king; HE WILL SAVE US.”

We know things can and must change. Cruelty and wickedness hiding behind the disguise of goodness and righteousness is nothing new.

The devil himself pretending through the serpent to be a friend to Eve, the wicked all through the Bible whispering into the ears of those who would hear, plans of how to destroy another and thereby having them also destroy themselves.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” taken so far out of context and USED specifically as a Biblical justification for nothing more than truly sadistic people to senselessly beat children.

If you doubt me on that, web search a few cases of children being adopted and even born into supposedly christian families taken away, rescued out of horrendous abuse. People have even written books advocating these UNGODLY practices.

The old Testament ALSO had a law on stoning your son.. IF he were  a drunkard.. how many little kids drink again?

Listen what Jesus told the Pharisees when they were hassling him about the OT marriage laws.

Mark 10:3-5; “And he answered and said,unto them, What did Moses command you? and they said, Moses suffered (PERMITTED) to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 

And Jesus answered and said unto them, (Because) For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.”

Meaning that they WERE given these severe laws because of their own hardness.

But God reveals His thoughts through His word, James 2:13: “For he SHALL have judgment WITHOUT mercy who hath shewed (shown) NO MERCY; and mercy rejoiceth against (TRIUMPHS OVER) judgment.” 

It is like this, just because we are technically allowed to do something DOES NOT mean that is what God desires for us to do it.

Micah 6:8:” He hath shewed thee, O man, ( all people), what IS good; and what doth (does) the Lord require of thee,  but to do justly and LOVE MERCY (loving kindness),and to walk humbly with thy God? 

So if all of this coupled with stories such as when the angel of the Lord put the smack down on Balaam and lined him out for hitting the donkey (Numbers 22:27-33),  doesn’t prove that God want us to ALL be kind toward each other and to also BE treated kindly, I don’t know what more could.

Just as treating children harshly came from the thoughts of people doing what they wanted.

We also got pulled into the “submission” trap. The Bible does truly say, “wives submit unto your own husbands” but again that is something that has been taken and RAN wild with, as if we were some sort of inferior creation that God placed here for men.

Oh I don’t think so.

Submission means to RESPECT your husband, to care about his feelings and not treat him like dirt, don’t make fun of him, and emotionally emasculate him by being that “brawling” woman spoken of in Proverbs.

God’s intentions for this was that the husband SHOULD be exactly what His word said for him to be.

And in this a husband was to be “submitted” to, as in a place of safety and a place of trust, such as that verse goes on to say “as unto the Lord”.

And I would love to hear the excuses that so many are going to try to give the Lord as to why they betrayed this TRUST that he had given them with their wives and children, and it’s not going to be a pretty picture!

So it DOES NOT mean we are subservient, or a lesser in God’s eyes.

It means that we SHOULD have that protective, nurturing, place if we ever need and at times we all do.

We covered His word in the last post of how He EXPECTS His daughters to be treated and seeing that even in a nation where women have many rights and “hold our own” we can all attest to our numbers of domestic violence, for all the strides we have made, in this area, we have gone backward!

We ARE more free. We HAVE more resources. We HAVE better laws and protection. So what went wrong? Why do we have these statistics that say we are NOT free by any stretch of imagination?

We are still trapped somewhere in our psyches by the lies of the past and the misogynistic teachings of generations before and we want to HIDE that pain and we are giving over to absolutely FALSE sense of shame by not speaking out.

That is what the enemy WANTS and just as he lied to Eve, he is lying to so many women about their past and keeping them in a “strangle hold” that prevents them from moving FORWARD.

Merriam-Webster definition two of the term “STRANGLE HOLD” is this: “A FORCE OR INFLUENCE THAT CHOKES OR SUPPRESSES FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT OR EXPRESSION.”  

If we have that past or are presently living with dominance, harshness, physical, or emotional abuse that is exactly what is happening to us.

The reason the devil has perfected it is because if you have had these experiences with men, especially fathers or husbands, HOW on earth can you “submit” to a being who is male?

When women are brainwashed into BELIEVING that they are subservient and God hates them, why would they seek Him?

The devil bagged and tagged on this one and we have to stop him!

We stop him by NOT taking anyone’s word for who we are or who God created us to be. Study God’s word and discover for yourself!

And when you reach the verses stating that “women are to be silent” and  “i suffer not a woman to teach…” STUDY the background with a good dictionary/history Bible and you will find that Paul was talking to a specific group of people AT THAT TIME. Because a group of women were “gunning” for him and trying to bring in false teachings and for that PERIOD IN TIME, he forbade them to speak so he could PROTECT the Gospel.

Need a little more reassurance, dig this, Galatians 3:23,28: “But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith that should afterwards be revealed.

Wherefore  the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

But after THAT faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster. For YE ALL ARE THE CHILDREN OF GOD by faith in Jesus Christ. 

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ.  There is NEITHER Jew nor Greek,  there is NEITHER bond nor free, THERE IS NEITHER MALE NOR FEMALE; FOR YE ARE ALL ONE IN CHRIST.”

That is a good verse to put to anyone who wants to argue Paul’s teachings with you…. he wrote that. He wrote the verses used to silence women and he wrote the verse that proved otherwise,  all true, but taken out of context by those who WANT to twist those verses to justify their own prejudices.

It’s time to separate God from the men who claim to represent him! If you are dealing with these issues or dealing with the past issues, PLEASE talk to Him, talk to Him just as if he were in the room sitting there.

I promise He does hear and tell Him how you feel, TRUTHFULLY how you feel, if you end up in tears and “I HATE…” starts coming out of your mouth, LET IT COME because the only way we recover is through submitting that to God and HE KNOWS how we feel and when you have been hurt and are trying to work past it.

God is not going to hold that against you, it is normal to feel that way and once you let it go, you will NO LONGER feel that.

But you have to get it out, ALL of it, at His feet, Hebrews 4:15: “For we have NOT an high priest which cannot be touched WITH THE FEELINGS OF OUR INFIRMITIES…” 

Which means Jesus suffered through all the things we do and HE DOES UNDERSTAND any possible thing you could tell Him and he understands with love, compassion, and gentleness toward you and He wants to take it away and give you peace and be those protective arms that hold you through your tears.

But first we must decide that we are slaves no more and no more will we live in the devil’s strangle hold.

There is NO shame in having been a victim and there is courage in admitting that you are a survivor. There is NO shame in needing out NOW and fear is perfectly normal when fighting for your freedom.

We just have to decide which we are WILLING to be. Think about these verses: Isaiah 53:4-6,11: ” Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed; neither shall thou be confounded (disgraced); for thou shalt not be put to shame; for thou SHALT FORGET the shame of thy youth, and SHALT NOT REMEMBER the reproach of thy widowhood any more. 

For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. 

For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused (suffered rejection) saith thy God.  

O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, (tormented and battered by ‘storm”)  and NOT comforted. behold, I WILL lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy FOUNDATIONS with sapphires.”

He knows, and He alone can give us that comfort that we have not been given, He alone see the pain of every season we can go through.

And He alone can lay for us that beautiful foundation, built upon Him and His TRUTH. Trust Him, know Him and most of all, let Him know you!

Related posts: “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those most to this, my main site. Thank you

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

Revisited post: 06/15/2019

 

 

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth (observes) all of his goings. His own iniquities shall take (entrap) the wicked himself, and he shall be holden (caught) with the cords (binding ropes) of his own sin.” Proverbs 5:21,22

Going to go a little in reverse with these scriptures. But I do have a question, why is ABUSE among family or spouses “domestic” abuse?

Of course I am being  a little flip here, but does it mean it is “tame” and completely unlike random “stranger” attacks?  Is is permissible BECAUSE it is interwoven into a family unit? Obviously so and THAT is the problem and THAT is why we are so quick to dismiss it.

But as I said with the start of this. GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE ABUSED, MISTREATED IN ANY WAY, OR EVEN MILDLY “TALKED DOWN” TO.

I have asked this question many times, but if God wanted this for ANYONE, male or female (because there ARE many abused men also) why on earth would Jesus have allowed Himself to be tortured and beaten before the crucifixion?

WHY would He had went through that IF His will was for His children to be in abusive relationships?

And so many women have suffered senselessly having been BRAINWASHED by the notion that this IS God’s will because they had taken vows.

What about the common “To LOVE, HONOR, and CHERISH” vow, most men have taken?

And of course we are all outraged at the treatment women suffer through in many more oppressed parts of the world, (as WE should be) BUT if as Americans our rates of abuse are through the roof, HOW can we encourage and be examples to others to fight for that freedom, if we allow ourselves to be victims behind closed doors?

Got to get our own houses in order before we tell others how to arrange their furniture.

And people could ask of me, what gives me a right to speak about any of it, well, as with this blog’s title, I have learned a lot at the feet of Jesus, and I have been through A LOT and I can point to my own teen years, restraining order and later living through the nightmare of acquaintance stalking (which I will probably share my story soon about, that one is still a tough one and I have wrestled with just how far I want to go with that).

But through it all, Those experiences ARE what lead me to God and how I do understand the”cause and effect” of the aftermath of falling into the traps the enemy has set for us and the self-destructive road it will lead us down, IF we do not seek divine intervention BEFORE we hit that intersection.

We all start in the SAME place, we want to be loved and we want to be accepted but people who have been hurt, and wounded TEND to attract predators and the reason for this, as it was explained to me, is that they literally sense that vulnerability in you and this explains why it is OVER and OVER and OVER for so many UNTIL the let the Lord break that yoke.

Because it IS a yoke. And it IS a yoke of desiring freedom for others BUT believing deep down inside that you yourself DO NOT deserve that freedom and that mindset is just part of the grand trap and I know with the American numbers of one in three women who ARE living in these relationships, obviously someone or many someones FEEL this way.

My starting verse I chose because of something a guy actually told me once that his girlfriend had said to him, and people wear many “faces” and usually the guys we come to discover have been so dreadful to their mates ARE the very ones, most likely voted to be, well, “less likely” and have high praise from others and with the same eeriness that interviewed neighbors of serial killers often portray, the echoed words are usually, “He SEEMED like such a great guy…..” and statements such as, “He was ALWAYS polite and courteous….” classic!

And Lucifer was ALSO the most beautiful of God’s creations and can TRANSFORM into an “angel of light” BUT he is still the same old evil being, just dressed up in a more appealing costume.

That is the thing, UNTIL we as a society and individuals DECIDE to have  a zero tolerance for how we allow OURSELVES to be treated, it is not going to stop.

The cycles are not going to end and without God and determination that it stops, those generational chains of not only being prone to becoming an abuser but also those chains of being psychologically prone to becoming  a victim, are never going to come off.

And everyone HAS to stop making excuses for others, male, female, whatever. If you feel like you have to make excuses for how they treat you, YOU DO NOT NEED THAT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.

I want to break this into two groups. Marital and non-martial. But we run into one more problem that needs dealt with when tackling this subject.

God INTENDED for sexual relationships to be under the sanctification of marriage, SO if you are in a relationship that has become sexual, SPIRITUALLY, you ARE already “married” to that person and the soul damage is still going to be just as great.

Everyone likes to argue the fact, that you don’t “need a piece of paper” to prove love.

Well, in this case, is not the paper, it IS the act of consummation that does it.

Satan has turned people against marriage and commitment based on the “freedom” theory.

The lack of marriage does NOT protect you from anything and can actually set people up for far worse.

So we are running our scriptures from that point, the word of God concerning, men, women, love, and marriage. 

MARRIAGE: 1 Corinthians 7: 2-15: ” Nevertheless, to avoid fornication (which IS still a sin, regardless of what the world has to say) let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render due benevolence (affection); and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife {are you seeing this is MUTUAL teaching?}

Defraud (deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that satan tempt you NOT for your incontinency. 

But I speak this by permission, and NOT of commandment. {Paul was expressly HIS heart-felt beliefs on the subject}

For I would (wish) that all were even as myself (celibate). But every man (person) hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say this to the unmarried and widows.

It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they can not contain (exercise control), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

But and IF she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away (divorce) his wife.

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord; If any brother hath a wife that believeth NOT, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him NOT put her away.

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and he be pleased to dwell with her, let her NOT leave him.

For the unbelieving husband IS sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife IS sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

But if the unbelieving depart, LET HIM DEPART. A brother or sister IS NOT under bondage in SUCH cases: but GOD HATH CALLED US TO PEACE.” 

You can see from these scriptures that there IS equality and that there IS times that we should part ways with each other. Paul was so careful to address the differences between what is acceptable for believers and for those who are not yet.

But NO ONE is under bondage to another human being.

Same chapter, verse 23, declares this beautifully: “Ye are BOUGHT with a price; BE YE NOT SERVANTS OF MEN.”

Think about the starter verse from part 1 in this series, ” ..for OF whom a man (person) IS overcome, OF THE SAME IS HE BROUGHT IN BONDAGE.”

God DOES deliver us, God saves us, BUT if we can easily allow ourselves snared BACK into that same trap and just stick the title of “love” on it.

Bad relationships have NOTHING to do with love. Think about these verses:

1 John 4:18: “There is NO fear in love; but perfect love (God’s love) casteth OUT fear; because FEAR HATH TORMENT….” 

1 Corinthians 13 :4-8: “Charity (LOVE) suffereth long (long-suffering means endurance in difficult situations)and IS KIND; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not: (doesn’t brag on) itself, is NOT puffed up (prideful).

Doth NOT behave itself unseemly (rudely)seeketh NOT her own (isn’t self absorbed),  is NOT easily provoked (does NOT fly into fits of rage),  thinketh NO evil;

Rejoiceth NOT in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, Believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity (LOVE) NEVER FAILS….” 

So back to the beginning.. WHAT exactly does the Lord see when He sees interactions between couples?

Malachi 2:14,15: “Yet ye say, Wherefore (why)? Because the Lord HAS BEEN WITNESS BETWEEN THEE AND THE WIFE OF THY YOUTH, AGAINST WHOM THOU HAST DEALT TREACHEROUSLY; 

YET, SHE IS THY COMPANION, AND THE WIFE OF THY COVENANT.

And did he not make one? { God’s marriage commandment that TWO SHALL BECOME AS ONE} Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed (children). THEREFORE TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, AND LET NONE DEAL TREACHEROUSLY AGAINST THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH.”

Colossians 3:11: “Husbands LOVE your wives and BE NOT BITTER AGAINST THEM.” 

EPHESIANS 5:25-33: “Husbands LOVE your wives, EVEN AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT:

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 

SO OUGHT MEN TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES, He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For NO man ever yet hate his own flesh; but NOURISHETH AND CHERISHETH IT, EVEN AS THE LORD THE CHURCH:

FOR WE ARE MEMBERS OF HIS BODY, HIS FLESH, AND OF HIS BONES, 

FOR THIS CAUSE SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL BE JOINED UNTO HIS WIFE, AND THEY TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH.

 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

Nevertheless LET EVERY ONE OF YOU IN PARTICULAR SO LOVE HIS WIFE EVEN AS HIMSELF; AND THE WIFE SEE THAT SHE REVERENCES (RESPECTS) HER HUSBAND.” 

Ask yourself this, does the relationship you are in fit THIS criteria?

Does the love you feel from the other person fit THIS criteria?

Or does that “love” come with the “torment” of fear?

Think about it and please join me next time and we’ll see what the Bible says about dealing with angry people,and the truth about submission, you might be quite surprised.

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

To read series:     “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

                                “Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

                                “Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those posts to this, my main site. Thank you

Revisited post: 6/13/2019