“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest thy be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

Our fathers, the first and foremost man in our formative years. And if you have a good one, that is great and will be a guaranteed blessing over your entire life. But what about the fathers who are warned in the verse above?

This verse is actually almost verbatim in Ephesians 6:4:” And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture (training) and admonition OF the Lord.”  

So we are being told what NOT to do and exactly what we should do. Children who are constantly “ridden” by their parents, who are made to feel whether intentionally or unintentionally that they are never quite good enough, or “perform” well enough to “earn” the love that they should have naturally received from that parent.

I do know this verse specifies fathers, but we know the damage mothers can do is equally as damaging.

And we could pull a truck load of stats on the completely dysfunctional mother/son relationships that are often prominent among serial killers.

So what I want to focus on the relationship of fathers to daughters and the relationships that are formed later in life.

I also want to bring into the mix the fact that often when women have had extremely dominating fathers and whether that consisted of physical abuse alongside the obvious emotional damage that is caused, that seems to put the pattern in place.

But testosterone is a funny thing and soul debilitating dominance lorded over women is not ALWAYS by their fathers. It can come later in life through a boyfriend, husband, or even male friends who can become quite the material for a medieval tale of when black knights begin to suffer from white knight syndrome .

When “friendship” leads to the need to control your life, and demand answers for your every move that is no longer friendship, that IS control. Male dominance has been and is still our toughest battle regardless of what role that male has in our life.

But for some, it is a short path from growing up with a horrid father to marrying an even worse husband.

So how did it start? People taking the word of God and their DISTORTED view of God and applying THEIR carnality to it. Just as God answered it in his word: 

Judges 21:25: “In those days there was no king in Israel: EVERY MAN DID THAT WHICH WAS RIGHT IN HIS OWN EYES.”

And things have certainly NOT been right and are still NOT right.

But with the revelation of Isaiah 33:22: “For the Lord IS our judge, the Lord IS our lawgiver, the Lord IS our king; HE WILL SAVE US.”

We know things can and must change. Cruelty and wickedness hiding behind the disguise of goodness and righteousness is nothing new.

The devil himself pretending through the serpent to be a friend to Eve, the wicked all through the Bible whispering into the ears of those who would hear, plans of how to destroy another and thereby having them also destroy themselves.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” taken so far out of context and USED specifically as a Biblical justification for nothing more than truly sadistic people to senselessly beat children.

If you doubt me on that, web search a few cases of children being adopted and even born into supposedly christian families taken away, rescued out of horrendous abuse. People have even written books advocating these UNGODLY practices.

The old Testament ALSO had a law on stoning your son.. IF he were  a drunkard.. how many little kids drink again?

Listen what Jesus told the Pharisees when they were hassling him about the OT marriage laws.

Mark 10:3-5; “And he answered and said,unto them, What did Moses command you? and they said, Moses suffered (PERMITTED) to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 

And Jesus answered and said unto them, (Because) For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.”

Meaning that they WERE given these severe laws because of their own hardness.

But God reveals His thoughts through His word, James 2:13: “For he SHALL have judgment WITHOUT mercy who hath shewed (shown) NO MERCY; and mercy rejoiceth against (TRIUMPHS OVER) judgment.” 

It is like this, just because we are technically allowed to do something DOES NOT mean that is what God desires for us to do it.

Micah 6:8:” He hath shewed thee, O man, ( all people), what IS good; and what doth (does) the Lord require of thee,  but to do justly and LOVE MERCY (loving kindness),and to walk humbly with thy God? 

So if all of this coupled with stories such as when the angel of the Lord put the smack down on Balaam and lined him out for hitting the donkey (Numbers 22:27-33),  doesn’t prove that God want us to ALL be kind toward each other and to also BE treated kindly, I don’t know what more could.

Just as treating children harshly came from the thoughts of people doing what they wanted.

We also got pulled into the “submission” trap. The Bible does truly say, “wives submit unto your own husbands” but again that is something that has been taken and RAN wild with, as if we were some sort of inferior creation that God placed here for men.

Oh I don’t think so.

Submission means to RESPECT your husband, to care about his feelings and not treat him like dirt, don’t make fun of him, and emotionally emasculate him by being that “brawling” woman spoken of in Proverbs.

God’s intentions for this was that the husband SHOULD be exactly what His word said for him to be.

And in this a husband was to be “submitted” to, as in a place of safety and a place of trust, such as that verse goes on to say “as unto the Lord”.

And I would love to hear the excuses that so many are going to try to give the Lord as to why they betrayed this TRUST that he had given them with their wives and children, and it’s not going to be a pretty picture!

So it DOES NOT mean we are subservient, or a lesser in God’s eyes.

It means that we SHOULD have that protective, nurturing, place if we ever need and at times we all do.

We covered His word in the last post of how He EXPECTS His daughters to be treated and seeing that even in a nation where women have many rights and “hold our own” we can all attest to our numbers of domestic violence, for all the strides we have made, in this area, we have gone backward!

We ARE more free. We HAVE more resources. We HAVE better laws and protection. So what went wrong? Why do we have these statistics that say we are NOT free by any stretch of imagination?

We are still trapped somewhere in our psyches by the lies of the past and the misogynistic teachings of generations before and we want to HIDE that pain and we are giving over to absolutely FALSE sense of shame by not speaking out.

That is what the enemy WANTS and just as he lied to Eve, he is lying to so many women about their past and keeping them in a “strangle hold” that prevents them from moving FORWARD.

Merriam-Webster definition two of the term “STRANGLE HOLD” is this: “A FORCE OR INFLUENCE THAT CHOKES OR SUPPRESSES FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT OR EXPRESSION.”  

If we have that past or are presently living with dominance, harshness, physical, or emotional abuse that is exactly what is happening to us.

The reason the devil has perfected it is because if you have had these experiences with men, especially fathers or husbands, HOW on earth can you “submit” to a being who is male?

When women are brainwashed into BELIEVING that they are subservient and God hates them, why would they seek Him?

The devil bagged and tagged on this one and we have to stop him!

We stop him by NOT taking anyone’s word for who we are or who God created us to be. Study God’s word and discover for yourself!

And when you reach the verses stating that “women are to be silent” and  “i suffer not a woman to teach…” STUDY the background with a good dictionary/history Bible and you will find that Paul was talking to a specific group of people AT THAT TIME. Because a group of women were “gunning” for him and trying to bring in false teachings and for that PERIOD IN TIME, he forbade them to speak so he could PROTECT the Gospel.

Need a little more reassurance, dig this, Galatians 3:23,28: “But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith that should afterwards be revealed.

Wherefore  the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

But after THAT faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster. For YE ALL ARE THE CHILDREN OF GOD by faith in Jesus Christ. 

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ.  There is NEITHER Jew nor Greek,  there is NEITHER bond nor free, THERE IS NEITHER MALE NOR FEMALE; FOR YE ARE ALL ONE IN CHRIST.”

That is a good verse to put to anyone who wants to argue Paul’s teachings with you…. he wrote that. He wrote the verses used to silence women and he wrote the verse that proved otherwise,  all true, but taken out of context by those who WANT to twist those verses to justify their own prejudices.

It’s time to separate God from the men who claim to represent him! If you are dealing with these issues or dealing with the past issues, PLEASE talk to Him, talk to Him just as if he were in the room sitting there.

I promise He does hear and tell Him how you feel, TRUTHFULLY how you feel, if you end up in tears and “I HATE…” starts coming out of your mouth, LET IT COME because the only way we recover is through submitting that to God and HE KNOWS how we feel and when you have been hurt and are trying to work past it.

God is not going to hold that against you, it is normal to feel that way and once you let it go, you will NO LONGER feel that.

But you have to get it out, ALL of it, at His feet, Hebrews 4:15: “For we have NOT an high priest which cannot be touched WITH THE FEELINGS OF OUR INFIRMITIES…” 

Which means Jesus suffered through all the things we do and HE DOES UNDERSTAND any possible thing you could tell Him and he understands with love, compassion, and gentleness toward you and He wants to take it away and give you peace and be those protective arms that hold you through your tears.

But first we must decide that we are slaves no more and no more will we live in the devil’s strangle hold.

There is NO shame in having been a victim and there is courage in admitting that you are a survivor. There is NO shame in needing out NOW and fear is perfectly normal when fighting for your freedom.

We just have to decide which we are WILLING to be. Think about these verses: Isaiah 53:4-6,11: ” Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed; neither shall thou be confounded (disgraced); for thou shalt not be put to shame; for thou SHALT FORGET the shame of thy youth, and SHALT NOT REMEMBER the reproach of thy widowhood any more. 

For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. 

For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused (suffered rejection) saith thy God.  

O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, (tormented and battered by ‘storm”)  and NOT comforted. behold, I WILL lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy FOUNDATIONS with sapphires.”

He knows, and He alone can give us that comfort that we have not been given, He alone see the pain of every season we can go through.

And He alone can lay for us that beautiful foundation, built upon Him and His TRUTH. Trust Him, know Him and most of all, let Him know you!

Related posts: “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those most to this, my main site. Thank you

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

Revisited post: 06/15/2019

 

 

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth (observes) all of his goings. His own iniquities shall take (entrap) the wicked himself, and he shall be holden (caught) with the cords (binding ropes) of his own sin.” Proverbs 5:21,22

Going to go a little in reverse with these scriptures. But I do have a question, why is ABUSE among family or spouses “domestic” abuse?

Of course I am being  a little flip here, but does it mean it is “tame” and completely unlike random “stranger” attacks?  Is is permissible BECAUSE it is interwoven into a family unit? Obviously so and THAT is the problem and THAT is why we are so quick to dismiss it.

But as I said with the start of this. GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE ABUSED, MISTREATED IN ANY WAY, OR EVEN MILDLY “TALKED DOWN” TO.

I have asked this question many times, but if God wanted this for ANYONE, male or female (because there ARE many abused men also) why on earth would Jesus have allowed Himself to be tortured and beaten before the crucifixion?

WHY would He had went through that IF His will was for His children to be in abusive relationships?

And so many women have suffered senselessly having been BRAINWASHED by the notion that this IS God’s will because they had taken vows.

What about the common “To LOVE, HONOR, and CHERISH” vow, most men have taken?

And of course we are all outraged at the treatment women suffer through in many more oppressed parts of the world, (as WE should be) BUT if as Americans our rates of abuse are through the roof, HOW can we encourage and be examples to others to fight for that freedom, if we allow ourselves to be victims behind closed doors?

Got to get our own houses in order before we tell others how to arrange their furniture.

And people could ask of me, what gives me a right to speak about any of it, well, as with this blog’s title, I have learned a lot at the feet of Jesus, and I have been through A LOT and I can point to my own teen years, restraining order and later living through the nightmare of acquaintance stalking (which I will probably share my story soon about, that one is still a tough one and I have wrestled with just how far I want to go with that).

But through it all, Those experiences ARE what lead me to God and how I do understand the”cause and effect” of the aftermath of falling into the traps the enemy has set for us and the self-destructive road it will lead us down, IF we do not seek divine intervention BEFORE we hit that intersection.

We all start in the SAME place, we want to be loved and we want to be accepted but people who have been hurt, and wounded TEND to attract predators and the reason for this, as it was explained to me, is that they literally sense that vulnerability in you and this explains why it is OVER and OVER and OVER for so many UNTIL the let the Lord break that yoke.

Because it IS a yoke. And it IS a yoke of desiring freedom for others BUT believing deep down inside that you yourself DO NOT deserve that freedom and that mindset is just part of the grand trap and I know with the American numbers of one in three women who ARE living in these relationships, obviously someone or many someones FEEL this way.

My starting verse I chose because of something a guy actually told me once that his girlfriend had said to him, and people wear many “faces” and usually the guys we come to discover have been so dreadful to their mates ARE the very ones, most likely voted to be, well, “less likely” and have high praise from others and with the same eeriness that interviewed neighbors of serial killers often portray, the echoed words are usually, “He SEEMED like such a great guy…..” and statements such as, “He was ALWAYS polite and courteous….” classic!

And Lucifer was ALSO the most beautiful of God’s creations and can TRANSFORM into an “angel of light” BUT he is still the same old evil being, just dressed up in a more appealing costume.

That is the thing, UNTIL we as a society and individuals DECIDE to have  a zero tolerance for how we allow OURSELVES to be treated, it is not going to stop.

The cycles are not going to end and without God and determination that it stops, those generational chains of not only being prone to becoming an abuser but also those chains of being psychologically prone to becoming  a victim, are never going to come off.

And everyone HAS to stop making excuses for others, male, female, whatever. If you feel like you have to make excuses for how they treat you, YOU DO NOT NEED THAT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.

I want to break this into two groups. Marital and non-martial. But we run into one more problem that needs dealt with when tackling this subject.

God INTENDED for sexual relationships to be under the sanctification of marriage, SO if you are in a relationship that has become sexual, SPIRITUALLY, you ARE already “married” to that person and the soul damage is still going to be just as great.

Everyone likes to argue the fact, that you don’t “need a piece of paper” to prove love.

Well, in this case, is not the paper, it IS the act of consummation that does it.

Satan has turned people against marriage and commitment based on the “freedom” theory.

The lack of marriage does NOT protect you from anything and can actually set people up for far worse.

So we are running our scriptures from that point, the word of God concerning, men, women, love, and marriage. 

MARRIAGE: 1 Corinthians 7: 2-15: ” Nevertheless, to avoid fornication (which IS still a sin, regardless of what the world has to say) let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render due benevolence (affection); and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife {are you seeing this is MUTUAL teaching?}

Defraud (deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that satan tempt you NOT for your incontinency. 

But I speak this by permission, and NOT of commandment. {Paul was expressly HIS heart-felt beliefs on the subject}

For I would (wish) that all were even as myself (celibate). But every man (person) hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say this to the unmarried and widows.

It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they can not contain (exercise control), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

But and IF she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away (divorce) his wife.

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord; If any brother hath a wife that believeth NOT, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him NOT put her away.

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and he be pleased to dwell with her, let her NOT leave him.

For the unbelieving husband IS sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife IS sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

But if the unbelieving depart, LET HIM DEPART. A brother or sister IS NOT under bondage in SUCH cases: but GOD HATH CALLED US TO PEACE.” 

You can see from these scriptures that there IS equality and that there IS times that we should part ways with each other. Paul was so careful to address the differences between what is acceptable for believers and for those who are not yet.

But NO ONE is under bondage to another human being.

Same chapter, verse 23, declares this beautifully: “Ye are BOUGHT with a price; BE YE NOT SERVANTS OF MEN.”

Think about the starter verse from part 1 in this series, ” ..for OF whom a man (person) IS overcome, OF THE SAME IS HE BROUGHT IN BONDAGE.”

God DOES deliver us, God saves us, BUT if we can easily allow ourselves snared BACK into that same trap and just stick the title of “love” on it.

Bad relationships have NOTHING to do with love. Think about these verses:

1 John 4:18: “There is NO fear in love; but perfect love (God’s love) casteth OUT fear; because FEAR HATH TORMENT….” 

1 Corinthians 13 :4-8: “Charity (LOVE) suffereth long (long-suffering means endurance in difficult situations)and IS KIND; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not: (doesn’t brag on) itself, is NOT puffed up (prideful).

Doth NOT behave itself unseemly (rudely)seeketh NOT her own (isn’t self absorbed),  is NOT easily provoked (does NOT fly into fits of rage),  thinketh NO evil;

Rejoiceth NOT in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, Believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity (LOVE) NEVER FAILS….” 

So back to the beginning.. WHAT exactly does the Lord see when He sees interactions between couples?

Malachi 2:14,15: “Yet ye say, Wherefore (why)? Because the Lord HAS BEEN WITNESS BETWEEN THEE AND THE WIFE OF THY YOUTH, AGAINST WHOM THOU HAST DEALT TREACHEROUSLY; 

YET, SHE IS THY COMPANION, AND THE WIFE OF THY COVENANT.

And did he not make one? { God’s marriage commandment that TWO SHALL BECOME AS ONE} Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed (children). THEREFORE TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, AND LET NONE DEAL TREACHEROUSLY AGAINST THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH.”

Colossians 3:11: “Husbands LOVE your wives and BE NOT BITTER AGAINST THEM.” 

EPHESIANS 5:25-33: “Husbands LOVE your wives, EVEN AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT:

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 

SO OUGHT MEN TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES, He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For NO man ever yet hate his own flesh; but NOURISHETH AND CHERISHETH IT, EVEN AS THE LORD THE CHURCH:

FOR WE ARE MEMBERS OF HIS BODY, HIS FLESH, AND OF HIS BONES, 

FOR THIS CAUSE SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL BE JOINED UNTO HIS WIFE, AND THEY TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH.

 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

Nevertheless LET EVERY ONE OF YOU IN PARTICULAR SO LOVE HIS WIFE EVEN AS HIMSELF; AND THE WIFE SEE THAT SHE REVERENCES (RESPECTS) HER HUSBAND.” 

Ask yourself this, does the relationship you are in fit THIS criteria?

Does the love you feel from the other person fit THIS criteria?

Or does that “love” come with the “torment” of fear?

Think about it and please join me next time and we’ll see what the Bible says about dealing with angry people,and the truth about submission, you might be quite surprised.

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

To read series:     “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

                                “Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

                                “Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those posts to this, my main site. Thank you

Revisited post: 6/13/2019

“Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

2 Peter 2:19 (a): “For of whom a man (person) is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.”

So many women either are there, have been there, and done that, and keep going back and doing it again, and again.

Why do so many have problems with this issue?

This does cross-reference to sin but it can apply to many situations in life. And that is exactly what I am using it for.

Domestic violence and unhealthy relationships that so many get trapped in and KEEP getting trapped in.

The psychology behind all this is truly mind numbing, you could study it from every possible angle and condition and still never truly understand what makes people evil or what makes people stay in relationships with evil people.

But Biblically, we have EXTREMELY clear answers but as we know often these answers have been twisted through the years to fit into a religious male agenda.

And I am not saying all Christian guys, pastors, or teachers hold these views. FAR FROM IT, but the ones who have held those views, more so in the days of old have more than damaged the cause for women’s rights and equality.

Women are destroying themselves, staying in theses relationships, allowing these false beliefs and false views on what they should be, need to be, and especially are expected of God to be.

This is such a double-edged sword topic because I know of a certainty many women who are feminists want NOTHING to do with God because of these falsely taught beliefs and then others suffer in these relationship because they BELIEVE God expects them too.

And it is ALL wrong, wrong, and wrong!

And after “refreshing” my brain with the new stats, obviously whatever we are doing as a society is NOT working.

Common knowledge abusers often came from home of abuse. Men who as children saw their mothers abused by their fathers. Women who as children witnessing the abuse of their mothers.

And everyone growing up with all the wiring and all the wrong data being programmed into them and when they are faced with the same situation later in life that default reaction takes over.

Not always, but often and you can trace the “target” on one’s head that attracts predators to some other traumatic event, but nevertheless, it is still a target.

Here’s some stats: The leading cause of injuries for women in the United States is abuse, to the tune of around slightly over four billion dollars a year being spent on medical costs of those abuse.

Every nine seconds a woman is beaten or assaulted.

Worldwide, one in three women are beaten or coerced into sex or other forced activity. 

Threats or threatened suicide by their boyfriend affect one in five teenage girls.

One in four women suffer violent attacks at least once in their lifetime, usually before the age of twenty-five.

One in ten women are raped by their partners. Men who beat their partners and ALSO beat their children are a staggering sixty-two percent.

And pets are also usually victimized. {which should be an easy one, IF a guy hurts you, he sure as Hades isn’t going to care who else he hurts, ESPECIALLY someone you love, these people ARE evil and we must realize that}

And for the record, if you are in one of these relationships, as the adult, it is your responsibility to not only get yourself out of this relationship but you are the ONLY way of getting the children, pets, and whoever else that may be vulnerable and unable to take action for themselves, out of harm’s way. These people are not going to change, until they want to change and  there is NO SUCH THING as toughing it out for the children.

As the Bible states, Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and (even) when HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.”

It does not matter what school or society teaches, what shapes all of us is what OUR parents teach us and what we learn in our own homes. And that can take a lifetime to overcome if it is not the RIGHT teachings and how to correctly, respectfully interact with one another.

They are being damaged with every passing moment they are subjected to this dysfunctional lifestyle and if you want your son to grow up to batter the women in his life  just keep letting him to see his father or any man beat you.

And if you want to almost guarantee your daughter to be someone’s future punching bag then keep allowing her to see you beaten and verbally abused and YOUR responses in taking him back time after time after time and trying to hold it all together with the age-old excuse “He doesn’t mean it”, or “He loves us in his own way.” 

He does MEAN it and He does not love anyone but himself.

I am sorry but NO ONE NEEDS ANY ONE SO MUCH THAT THEY WILL LITERALLY RISK THEIR LIVES RATHER THAN GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.

 Love does not hit and love should never hurt.(but we’ll get into what the Bible teaches on that in a following post in this series) loneliness, fear, not being “able to make it without them” are not valid excuses, and I did say excuse because we have to quit making excuses for them, that’s why we have an epidemic.

Would you not want protection from a stranger that just walked up to you and beat you senseless?

Would you not want that person prosecuted so that he could not hurt anyone else? There is NO difference, the only difference is the difference we make in justifying it.  

Men whose fathers abused their mothers have double the rate of abusing women. Women are not always the victim of a father, husband, or boyfriend.

Talk about “friends like that…” fifty-three percent of rapes are committed against women by their “friends”.

 Thirty-six percent of women who have reported aggravated assaults have been assaulted by their “friends”.

And twenty-two percent of  the women who are murdered are murdered by their “friends”. 

It’s not just family, and friends, twenty-four percent of stalking victims are stalked by acquaintances and thirteen percent are stalked by complete strangers.

Even with all these truly horrific numbers the most terrifying thought is that we allow it. 

 We allow it individually and we allow it as a society and  women who have been subjected to  a lifetime of abuse, often going from growing up with an abusive father, marrying an abusive husband, or dating abusive men, (often the same kind of man, over and over) and finally finding themselves in a place of hopelessness with no self-esteem, riddled with false guilt and false shame trapped in a prison of the mind. And I want to show you through this series that God does NOT want that for you.

And for other women, even after overcoming the original bondage of abuse, still become entangled in other relationships and self depreciating patterns that are just as deadly and just as damaging to the soul. 

But hopefully this is a “thinking point” and if you are in this situation, please get out and I know that is sometimes easier said than done. But get out and allow Jesus to start that healing process and again we’ll get into a lot of Bible teachings about how God WANTS you to be treated and believe me it is with the highest love, respect, and absolutely cherished.

And we’ll look at how trying to live with damaged souls, not dealing with that damage, only lead us to more snares and pitfalls.

And explain the title a little better.

Information taken from below listed sources and I encourage for more information to check out these sites and learn more, especially the warning signs that you could be in a dangerous relationship. Please join me next time and until then please check out the song below. Our ONLY peace…..

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017 

6/12/19 I wanted to revisit this series because I just want to remind the world that Jesus loves His people and He wants you to live in peace and safety.

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those posts to this, my main site. Thank you

To read this entire series:

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

Information taken from the following sources:

domestic violence statics .org

ace treatment centers.org 

ending stalking in america (esia). org

There are countless resources on this subject.

 

“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest thy be discouraged.” Colossians 3:21

Our fathers, the first and foremost man in our formative years. And if you have a good one, that is great and will be a guaranteed blessing over your entire life. But what about the fathers who are warned in the verse above?

This verse is actually almost verbatim in Ephesians 6:4:” And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture (training) and admonition OF the Lord.”  

So we are being told what NOT to do and exactly what we should do. Children who are constantly “ridden” by their parents, who are made to feel whether intentionally or unintentionally that they are never quite good enough, or “perform” well enough to “earn” the love that they should have naturally received from that parent.

I do know this verse specifies fathers, but we know the damage mothers can do is equally as damaging.

And we could pull a truck load of stats on the completely dysfunctional mother/son relationships that are often prominent among serial killers.

So what I want to focus on the relationship of fathers to daughters and the relationships that are formed later in life.

I also want to bring into the mix the fact that often when women have had extremely dominating fathers and whether that consisted of physical abuse alongside the obvious emotional damage that is caused, that seems to put the pattern in place.

But testosterone is a funny thing and soul debilitating dominance lorded over women is not ALWAYS by their fathers. It can come later in life through a boyfriend, husband, or even male friends who can become quite the material for a medieval tale of when black knights begin to suffer from white knight syndrome .

When “friendship” leads to the need to control your life, and demand answers for your every move that is no longer friendship, that IS control. Male dominance has been and is still our toughest battle regardless of what role that male has in our life.

But for some, it is a short path from growing up with a horrid father to marrying an even worse husband.

So how did it start? People taking the word of God and their DISTORTED view of God and applying THEIR carnality to it. Just as God answered it in his word: 

Judges 21:25: “In those days there was no king in Israel: EVERY MAN DID THAT WHICH WAS RIGHT IN HIS OWN EYES.”

And things have certainly NOT been right and are still NOT right.

But with the revelation of Isaiah 33:22: “For the Lord IS our judge, the Lord IS our lawgiver, the Lord IS our king; HE WILL SAVE US.”

We know things can and must change. Cruelty and wickedness hiding behind the disguise of goodness and righteousness is nothing new.

The devil himself pretending through the serpent to be a friend to Eve, the wicked all through the Bible whispering into the ears of those who would hear, plans of how to destroy another and thereby having them also destroy themselves.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” taken so far out of context and USED specifically as a Biblical justification for nothing more than truly sadistic people to senselessly beat children.

If you doubt me on that, web search a few cases of children being adopted and even born into supposedly christian families taken away, rescued out of horrendous abuse. People have even written books advocating these UNGODLY practices.

The old Testament ALSO had a law on stoning your son.. IF he were  a drunkard.. how many little kids drink again?

Listen what Jesus told the Pharisees when they were hassling him about the OT marriage laws.

Mark 10:3-5; “And he answered and said,unto them, What did Moses command you? and they said, Moses suffered (PERMITTED) to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 

And Jesus answered and said unto them, (Because) For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.”

Meaning that they WERE given these severe laws because of their own hardness.

But God reveals His thoughts through His word, James 2:13: “For he SHALL have judgment WITHOUT mercy who hath shewed (shown) NO MERCY; and mercy rejoiceth against (TRIUMPHS OVER) judgment.” 

It is like this, just because we are technically allowed to do something DOES NOT mean that is what God desires for us to do it.

Micah 6:8:” He hath shewed thee, O man, ( all people), what IS good; and what doth (does) the Lord require of thee,  but to do justly and LOVE MERCY (loving kindness),and to walk humbly with thy God? 

So if all of this coupled with stories such as when the angel of the Lord put the smack down on Balaam and lined him out for hitting the donkey (Numbers 22:27-33),  doesn’t prove that God want us to ALL be kind toward each other and to also BE treated kindly, I don’t know what more could.

Just as treating children harshly came from the thoughts of people doing what they wanted.

We also got pulled into the “submission” trap. The Bible does truly say, “wives submit unto your own husbands” but again that is something that has been taken and RAN wild with, as if we were some sort of inferior creation that God placed here for men.

Oh I don’t think so.

Submission means to RESPECT your husband, to care about his feelings and not treat him like dirt, don’t make fun of him, and emotionally emasculate him by being that “brawling” woman spoken of in Proverbs.

God’s intentions for this was that the husband SHOULD be exactly what His word said for him to be.

And in this a husband was to be “submitted” to, as in a place of safety and a place of trust, such as that verse goes on to say “as unto the Lord”.

And I would love to hear the excuses that so many are going to try to give the Lord as to why they betrayed this TRUST that he had given them with their wives and children, and it’s not going to be a pretty picture!

So it DOES NOT mean we are subservient, or a lesser in God’s eyes.

It means that we SHOULD have that protective, nurturing, place if we ever need and at times we all do.

We covered His word in the last post of how He EXPECTS His daughters to be treated and seeing that even in a nation where women have many rights and “hold our own” we can all attest to our numbers of domestic violence, for all the strides we have made, in this area, we have gone backward!

We ARE more free. We HAVE more resources. We HAVE better laws and protection. So what went wrong? Why do we have these statistics that say we are NOT free by any stretch of imagination?

We are still trapped somewhere in our psyches by the lies of the past and the misogynistic teachings of generations before and we want to HIDE that pain and we are giving over to absolutely FALSE sense of shame by not speaking out.

That is what the enemy WANTS and just as he lied to Eve, he is lying to so many women about their past and keeping them in a “strangle hold” that prevents them from moving FORWARD.

Merriam-Webster definition two of the term “STRANGLE HOLD” is this: “A FORCE OR INFLUENCE THAT CHOKES OR SUPPRESSES FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT OR EXPRESSION.”  

If we have that past or are presently living with dominance, harshness, physical, or emotional abuse that is exactly what is happening to us.

The reason the devil has perfected it is because if you have had these experiences with men, especially fathers or husbands, HOW on earth can you “submit” to a being who is male?

When women are brainwashed into BELIEVING that they are subservient and God hates them, why would they seek Him?

The devil bagged and tagged on this one and we have to stop him!

We stop him by NOT taking anyone’s word for who we are or who God created us to be. Study God’s word and discover for yourself!

And when you reach the verses stating that “women are to be silent” and  “i suffer not a woman to teach…” STUDY the background with a good dictionary/history Bible and you will find that Paul was talking to a specific group of people AT THAT TIME. Because a group of women were “gunning” for him and trying to bring in false teachings and for that PERIOD IN TIME, he forbade them to speak so he could PROTECT the Gospel.

Need a little more reassurance, dig this, Galatians 3:23,28: “But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith that should afterwards be revealed.

Wherefore  the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

But after THAT faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster. For YE ALL ARE THE CHILDREN OF GOD by faith in Jesus Christ. 

For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ, have put on Christ.  There is NEITHER Jew nor Greek,  there is NEITHER bond nor free, THERE IS NEITHER MALE NOR FEMALE; FOR YE ARE ALL ONE IN CHRIST.”

That is a good verse to put to anyone who wants to argue Paul’s teachings with you…. he wrote that. He wrote the verses used to silence women and he wrote the verse that proved otherwise,  all true, but taken out of context by those who WANT to twist those verses to justify their own prejudices.

It’s time to separate God from the men who claim to represent him! If you are dealing with these issues or dealing with the past issues, PLEASE talk to Him, talk to Him just as if he were in the room sitting there.

I promise He does hear and tell Him how you feel, TRUTHFULLY how you feel, if you end up in tears and “I HATE…” starts coming out of your mouth, LET IT COME because the only way we recover is through submitting that to God and HE KNOWS how we feel and when you have been hurt and are trying to work past it.

God is not going to hold that against you, it is normal to feel that way and once you let it go, you will NO LONGER feel that.

But you have to get it out, ALL of it, at His feet, Hebrews 4:15: “For we have NOT an high priest which cannot be touched WITH THE FEELINGS OF OUR INFIRMITIES…” 

Which means Jesus suffered through all the things we do and HE DOES UNDERSTAND any possible thing you could tell Him and he understands with love, compassion, and gentleness toward you and He wants to take it away and give you peace and be those protective arms that hold you through your tears.

But first we must decide that we are slaves no more and no more will we live in the devil’s strangle hold.

There is NO shame in having been a victim and there is courage in admitting that you are a survivor. There is NO shame in needing out NOW and fear is perfectly normal when fighting for your freedom.

We just have to decide which we are WILLING to be. Think about these verses: Isaiah 53:4-6,11: ” Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed; neither shall thou be confounded (disgraced); for thou shalt not be put to shame; for thou SHALT FORGET the shame of thy youth, and SHALT NOT REMEMBER the reproach of thy widowhood any more. 

For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. 

For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused (suffered rejection) saith thy God.  

O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, (tormented and battered by ‘storm”)  and NOT comforted. behold, I WILL lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy FOUNDATIONS with sapphires.”

He knows, and He alone can give us that comfort that we have not been given, He alone see the pain of every season we can go through.

And He alone can lay for us that beautiful foundation, built upon Him and His TRUTH. Trust Him, know Him and most of all, let Him know you!

Related posts: “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those most to this, my main site. Thank you

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

Revisited post: 06/15/2019

 

 

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth (observes) all of his goings. His own iniquities shall take (entrap) the wicked himself, and he shall be holden (caught) with the cords (binding ropes) of his own sin.” Proverbs 5:21,22

Going to go a little in reverse with these scriptures. But I do have a question, why is ABUSE among family or spouses “domestic” abuse?

Of course I am being  a little flip here, but does it mean it is “tame” and completely unlike random “stranger” attacks?  Is is permissible BECAUSE it is interwoven into a family unit? Obviously so and THAT is the problem and THAT is why we are so quick to dismiss it.

But as I said with the start of this. GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE ABUSED, MISTREATED IN ANY WAY, OR EVEN MILDLY “TALKED DOWN” TO.

I have asked this question many times, but if God wanted this for ANYONE, male or female (because there ARE many abused men also) why on earth would Jesus have allowed Himself to be tortured and beaten before the crucifixion?

WHY would He had went through that IF His will was for His children to be in abusive relationships?

And so many women have suffered senselessly having been BRAINWASHED by the notion that this IS God’s will because they had taken vows.

What about the common “To LOVE, HONOR, and CHERISH” vow, most men have taken?

And of course we are all outraged at the treatment women suffer through in many more oppressed parts of the world, (as WE should be) BUT if as Americans our rates of abuse are through the roof, HOW can we encourage and be examples to others to fight for that freedom, if we allow ourselves to be victims behind closed doors?

Got to get our own houses in order before we tell others how to arrange their furniture.

And people could ask of me, what gives me a right to speak about any of it, well, as with this blog’s title, I have learned a lot at the feet of Jesus, and I have been through A LOT and I can point to my own teen years, restraining order and later living through the nightmare of acquaintance stalking (which I will probably share my story soon about, that one is still a tough one and I have wrestled with just how far I want to go with that).

But through it all, Those experiences ARE what lead me to God and how I do understand the”cause and effect” of the aftermath of falling into the traps the enemy has set for us and the self-destructive road it will lead us down, IF we do not seek divine intervention BEFORE we hit that intersection.

We all start in the SAME place, we want to be loved and we want to be accepted but people who have been hurt, and wounded TEND to attract predators and the reason for this, as it was explained to me, is that they literally sense that vulnerability in you and this explains why it is OVER and OVER and OVER for so many UNTIL the let the Lord break that yoke.

Because it IS a yoke. And it IS a yoke of desiring freedom for others BUT believing deep down inside that you yourself DO NOT deserve that freedom and that mindset is just part of the grand trap and I know with the American numbers of one in three women who ARE living in these relationships, obviously someone or many someones FEEL this way.

My starting verse I chose because of something a guy actually told me once that his girlfriend had said to him, and people wear many “faces” and usually the guys we come to discover have been so dreadful to their mates ARE the very ones, most likely voted to be, well, “less likely” and have high praise from others and with the same eeriness that interviewed neighbors of serial killers often portray, the echoed words are usually, “He SEEMED like such a great guy…..” and statements such as, “He was ALWAYS polite and courteous….” classic!

And Lucifer was ALSO the most beautiful of God’s creations and can TRANSFORM into an “angel of light” BUT he is still the same old evil being, just dressed up in a more appealing costume.

That is the thing, UNTIL we as a society and individuals DECIDE to have  a zero tolerance for how we allow OURSELVES to be treated, it is not going to stop.

The cycles are not going to end and without God and determination that it stops, those generational chains of not only being prone to becoming an abuser but also those chains of being psychologically prone to becoming  a victim, are never going to come off.

And everyone HAS to stop making excuses for others, male, female, whatever. If you feel like you have to make excuses for how they treat you, YOU DO NOT NEED THAT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.

I want to break this into two groups. Marital and non-martial. But we run into one more problem that needs dealt with when tackling this subject.

God INTENDED for sexual relationships to be under the sanctification of marriage, SO if you are in a relationship that has become sexual, SPIRITUALLY, you ARE already “married” to that person and the soul damage is still going to be just as great.

Everyone likes to argue the fact, that you don’t “need a piece of paper” to prove love.

Well, in this case, is not the paper, it IS the act of consummation that does it.

Satan has turned people against marriage and commitment based on the “freedom” theory.

The lack of marriage does NOT protect you from anything and can actually set people up for far worse.

So we are running our scriptures from that point, the word of God concerning, men, women, love, and marriage. 

MARRIAGE: 1 Corinthians 7: 2-15: ” Nevertheless, to avoid fornication (which IS still a sin, regardless of what the world has to say) let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render due benevolence (affection); and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife {are you seeing this is MUTUAL teaching?}

Defraud (deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that satan tempt you NOT for your incontinency. 

But I speak this by permission, and NOT of commandment. {Paul was expressly HIS heart-felt beliefs on the subject}

For I would (wish) that all were even as myself (celibate). But every man (person) hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say this to the unmarried and widows.

It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they can not contain (exercise control), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn (with passion).

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

But and IF she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away (divorce) his wife.

But to the rest speak I, not the Lord; If any brother hath a wife that believeth NOT, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him NOT put her away.

And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and he be pleased to dwell with her, let her NOT leave him.

For the unbelieving husband IS sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife IS sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

But if the unbelieving depart, LET HIM DEPART. A brother or sister IS NOT under bondage in SUCH cases: but GOD HATH CALLED US TO PEACE.” 

You can see from these scriptures that there IS equality and that there IS times that we should part ways with each other. Paul was so careful to address the differences between what is acceptable for believers and for those who are not yet.

But NO ONE is under bondage to another human being.

Same chapter, verse 23, declares this beautifully: “Ye are BOUGHT with a price; BE YE NOT SERVANTS OF MEN.”

Think about the starter verse from part 1 in this series, ” ..for OF whom a man (person) IS overcome, OF THE SAME IS HE BROUGHT IN BONDAGE.”

God DOES deliver us, God saves us, BUT if we can easily allow ourselves snared BACK into that same trap and just stick the title of “love” on it.

Bad relationships have NOTHING to do with love. Think about these verses:

1 John 4:18: “There is NO fear in love; but perfect love (God’s love) casteth OUT fear; because FEAR HATH TORMENT….” 

1 Corinthians 13 :4-8: “Charity (LOVE) suffereth long (long-suffering means endurance in difficult situations)and IS KIND; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not: (doesn’t brag on) itself, is NOT puffed up (prideful).

Doth NOT behave itself unseemly (rudely)seeketh NOT her own (isn’t self absorbed),  is NOT easily provoked (does NOT fly into fits of rage),  thinketh NO evil;

Rejoiceth NOT in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, Believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity (LOVE) NEVER FAILS….” 

So back to the beginning.. WHAT exactly does the Lord see when He sees interactions between couples?

Malachi 2:14,15: “Yet ye say, Wherefore (why)? Because the Lord HAS BEEN WITNESS BETWEEN THEE AND THE WIFE OF THY YOUTH, AGAINST WHOM THOU HAST DEALT TREACHEROUSLY; 

YET, SHE IS THY COMPANION, AND THE WIFE OF THY COVENANT.

And did he not make one? { God’s marriage commandment that TWO SHALL BECOME AS ONE} Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed (children). THEREFORE TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, AND LET NONE DEAL TREACHEROUSLY AGAINST THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH.”

Colossians 3:11: “Husbands LOVE your wives and BE NOT BITTER AGAINST THEM.” 

EPHESIANS 5:25-33: “Husbands LOVE your wives, EVEN AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT:

That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 

SO OUGHT MEN TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES, He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

For NO man ever yet hate his own flesh; but NOURISHETH AND CHERISHETH IT, EVEN AS THE LORD THE CHURCH:

FOR WE ARE MEMBERS OF HIS BODY, HIS FLESH, AND OF HIS BONES, 

FOR THIS CAUSE SHALL A MAN LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL BE JOINED UNTO HIS WIFE, AND THEY TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH.

 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 

Nevertheless LET EVERY ONE OF YOU IN PARTICULAR SO LOVE HIS WIFE EVEN AS HIMSELF; AND THE WIFE SEE THAT SHE REVERENCES (RESPECTS) HER HUSBAND.” 

Ask yourself this, does the relationship you are in fit THIS criteria?

Does the love you feel from the other person fit THIS criteria?

Or does that “love” come with the “torment” of fear?

Think about it and please join me next time and we’ll see what the Bible says about dealing with angry people,and the truth about submission, you might be quite surprised.

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017

To read series:     “Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

                                “Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

                                “Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those posts to this, my main site. Thank you

Revisited post: 6/13/2019

“Grinding the ax” 1 “acknowledgement”

2 Peter 2:19 (a): “For of whom a man (person) is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.”

So many women either are there, have been there, and done that, and keep going back and doing it again, and again.

Why do so many have problems with this issue?

This does cross-reference to sin but it can apply to many situations in life. And that is exactly what I am using it for.

Domestic violence and unhealthy relationships that so many get trapped in and KEEP getting trapped in.

The psychology behind all this is truly mind numbing, you could study it from every possible angle and condition and still never truly understand what makes people evil or what makes people stay in relationships with evil people.

But Biblically, we have EXTREMELY clear answers but as we know often these answers have been twisted through the years to fit into a religious male agenda.

And I am not saying all Christian guys, pastors, or teachers hold these views. FAR FROM IT, but the ones who have held those views, more so in the days of old have more than damaged the cause for women’s rights and equality.

Women are destroying themselves, staying in theses relationships, allowing these false beliefs and false views on what they should be, need to be, and especially are expected of God to be.

This is such a double-edged sword topic because I know of a certainty many women who are feminists want NOTHING to do with God because of these falsely taught beliefs and then others suffer in these relationship because they BELIEVE God expects them too.

And it is ALL wrong, wrong, and wrong!

And after “refreshing” my brain with the new stats, obviously whatever we are doing as a society is NOT working.

Common knowledge abusers often came from home of abuse. Men who as children saw their mothers abused by their fathers. Women who as children witnessing the abuse of their mothers.

And everyone growing up with all the wiring and all the wrong data being programmed into them and when they are faced with the same situation later in life that default reaction takes over.

Not always, but often and you can trace the “target” on one’s head that attracts predators to some other traumatic event, but nevertheless, it is still a target.

Here’s some stats: The leading cause of injuries for women in the United States is abuse, to the tune of around slightly over four billion dollars a year being spent on medical costs of those abuse.

Every nine seconds a woman is beaten or assaulted.

Worldwide, one in three women are beaten or coerced into sex or other forced activity. 

Threats or threatened suicide by their boyfriend affect one in five teenage girls.

One in four women suffer violent attacks at least once in their lifetime, usually before the age of twenty-five.

One in ten women are raped by their partners. Men who beat their partners and ALSO beat their children are a staggering sixty-two percent.

And pets are also usually victimized. {which should be an easy one, IF a guy hurts you, he sure as Hades isn’t going to care who else he hurts, ESPECIALLY someone you love, these people ARE evil and we must realize that}

And for the record, if you are in one of these relationships, as the adult, it is your responsibility to not only get yourself out of this relationship but you are the ONLY way of getting the children, pets, and whoever else that may be vulnerable and unable to take action for themselves, out of harm’s way. These people are not going to change, until they want to change and  there is NO SUCH THING as toughing it out for the children.

As the Bible states, Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and (even) when HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.”

It does not matter what school or society teaches, what shapes all of us is what OUR parents teach us and what we learn in our own homes. And that can take a lifetime to overcome if it is not the RIGHT teachings and how to correctly, respectfully interact with one another.

They are being damaged with every passing moment they are subjected to this dysfunctional lifestyle and if you want your son to grow up to batter the women in his life  just keep letting him to see his father or any man beat you.

And if you want to almost guarantee your daughter to be someone’s future punching bag then keep allowing her to see you beaten and verbally abused and YOUR responses in taking him back time after time after time and trying to hold it all together with the age-old excuse “He doesn’t mean it”, or “He loves us in his own way.” 

He does MEAN it and He does not love anyone but himself.

I am sorry but NO ONE NEEDS ANY ONE SO MUCH THAT THEY WILL LITERALLY RISK THEIR LIVES RATHER THAN GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.

 Love does not hit and love should never hurt.(but we’ll get into what the Bible teaches on that in a following post in this series) loneliness, fear, not being “able to make it without them” are not valid excuses, and I did say excuse because we have to quit making excuses for them, that’s why we have an epidemic.

Would you not want protection from a stranger that just walked up to you and beat you senseless?

Would you not want that person prosecuted so that he could not hurt anyone else? There is NO difference, the only difference is the difference we make in justifying it.  

Men whose fathers abused their mothers have double the rate of abusing women. Women are not always the victim of a father, husband, or boyfriend.

Talk about “friends like that…” fifty-three percent of rapes are committed against women by their “friends”.

 Thirty-six percent of women who have reported aggravated assaults have been assaulted by their “friends”.

And twenty-two percent of  the women who are murdered are murdered by their “friends”. 

It’s not just family, and friends, twenty-four percent of stalking victims are stalked by acquaintances and thirteen percent are stalked by complete strangers.

Even with all these truly horrific numbers the most terrifying thought is that we allow it. 

 We allow it individually and we allow it as a society and  women who have been subjected to  a lifetime of abuse, often going from growing up with an abusive father, marrying an abusive husband, or dating abusive men, (often the same kind of man, over and over) and finally finding themselves in a place of hopelessness with no self-esteem, riddled with false guilt and false shame trapped in a prison of the mind. And I want to show you through this series that God does NOT want that for you.

And for other women, even after overcoming the original bondage of abuse, still become entangled in other relationships and self depreciating patterns that are just as deadly and just as damaging to the soul. 

But hopefully this is a “thinking point” and if you are in this situation, please get out and I know that is sometimes easier said than done. But get out and allow Jesus to start that healing process and again we’ll get into a lot of Bible teachings about how God WANTS you to be treated and believe me it is with the highest love, respect, and absolutely cherished.

And we’ll look at how trying to live with damaged souls, not dealing with that damage, only lead us to more snares and pitfalls.

And explain the title a little better.

Information taken from below listed sources and I encourage for more information to check out these sites and learn more, especially the warning signs that you could be in a dangerous relationship. Please join me next time and until then please check out the song below. Our ONLY peace…..

Εξυπνιζω NBJ 2017 

6/12/19 I wanted to revisit this series because I just want to remind the world that Jesus loves His people and He wants you to live in peace and safety.

*Authors note* This series originally posted on “Alabaster Breaking”, my sister site, that no longer exists. I found it very difficult to maintain both sites and just transferred those posts to this, my main site. Thank you

To read this entire series:

“Grinding the ax” 2… “Real Love?”

“Grinding the ax” #3 “Anger Danger”

“Grinding the ax” #4 “STRANGLE HOLD”

Information taken from the following sources:

domestic violence statics .org

ace treatment centers.org 

ending stalking in america (esia). org

There are countless resources on this subject.

 

Regeneration of Generations

” But YOU ARE A CHOSEN GENERATION, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar (special) people; that ye should shew (show) forth the praises of him WHO HATH CALLED YOU OUT OF DARKNESS INTO HIS MARVELOUS LIGHT.” 1 Peter 2:9

CHOSEN, how blessed is that term? Jesus himself in John 15:16a said this:Ye have not chosen me, but I HAVE CHOSEN YOU..”

There is a major difference between going after something for ourselves, of our will and our desires and being chosen for a very specific purpose. Notice this verse is for a chosen GENERATION, meaning a preordained, predestinate group  CHOSEN to be the polar opposite of what came before. 

To allow the Lord to break chains forged over many generations by those who came before us. A chosen generation that would turn back to the Lord, who would choose the paths of righteousness rather than the broken roads of abuse and alcoholism, and addictions. A generation willing to allow God to shape their lives and repair the breaches in the protective walls of salvation, and that would hear God’s voice calling them out of the darkness that has formed over the ages.

Darkness passed on from generation to generation, until that faithful day that God’s voice is heard and centuries of darkness and cursing, poverty, abuse, and sorrow will be transformed by His marvelous light.

 A ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, a generation called to be the messengers, priests to their families and peers on behalf of the heavenly King to tell of the goodness of God and the freedom He offers. And as Jesus tells us, we are CHOSEN for the job. Because through Him, with Him and by the power of His blood we can overcome and to have to be chosen indicates that of a certainty that job, that calling, is not going to be an easy task.

I knew a lady who once told me that she had been baptized as a child, but when she grew up, really late in life, she choose to be baptized again, not because she questioned her salvation but salvation was all she had ever known and wanted to do it as a token to her love of Jesus. I have always thought these people were so blessed, to grow up in the Lord, to be taught scriptures and know of God.

But I do think as “first generations” we can witness to those in the world and understand things that they face and struggle a little better, because we really do understand those feelings.

Now to understand the dynamics of some of those battles “first generations” endure, and it is a battle royal of endurance but I hope by the end of this, you will feel refreshed in your battle and the fire and need to continue and fight hell till the last breath.

Satan knows scripture, he knows every word ever written and he is as sly as he was when he beguiled Eve and he knows to corrupt the plant, to blight it, he would also blight the seed of that plant and so with his temptations and snares he pulls down a plant from the garden of the Lord knowing that he has destroyed the future also.

When God gave the Ten Commandments and the warnings of serving other gods, this verse really jumps out: Exodus 20:5: “Thou shalt not bow down to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the children unto the third and fourth generation of them who hate me.”

So for me, I think to cause this, the ancestors had to really, really turn against God in a most dreadful way, because He is so loving and merciful and to hate him would require such violation and paganism, I can’t fathom.

The hardest concept to wrap our heads around comes when we see Christians who seem to really never have problems while we struggle in areas that never even seem to come to their door, we wonder what is wrong with us? Why do we go through the things but they don’t.

All people have problems, but it is true that some do seem to face battles that are harder, fiercer, and sometimes even bizarre but here is the reason, YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED OUT.

Satan wants you back in that darkness because he knows if he can defeat you, he will defeat EVEN MORE GENERATIONS that come from you. He doesn’t want you leading others to the light and liberty of God.

It is hard to be the “first” on a path, not having a strong spiritual foundation, and to try to understand what you’re doing, where you are going, or how your supposed to get there. And you can see this in the story of the Hebrews being brought of Egypt, most died in the wilderness because they had only known bondage and slavery and could never get into the mindset of true freedom, BUT the NEXT GENERATION went into that land NEVER knowing the horrors of Egypt.

“First Generationers” often feel overwhelmed because their issues are so numerous that it is a process because each issue must be dealt with one at a time or we would be like those who didn’t make it out of the wilderness, we could not handle the rest of our journey with the needed faith and trust life requires, because even coming out of Egypt, the roads ahead could still be sometimes rocky.

Exodus 23:29,30: “I WILL NOT drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee, By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, UNTIL thou be increased and inherit the land.” 

If everything were suddenly conquered, we would no longer build faith or trust and we would soon be destroyed by the vanities of our minds and leisure.

If you doubt that, read just how many times ancient Israel would prosper and then turn from the Lord thinking they had all they would ever need and how David became so complacent that he didn’t go into battle with his army but chose to have the affair with Bathsheba that brought anguish down on his GENERATION, and Solomon, who had all, peace, all prosperity still rebelled against God in taking pagan wives and worshiping with them.

No, you don’t want to trade in a perfectly good vehicle that may not look great to you right now but is taking you EXACTLY where you need to go for something that appears sharper, faster, but will in the end only drive you had head first into a bad accident. 

Recognize WHO you are and why you fight and why you CAN NEVER give up that fight. Psalm 22:30,31: “A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation (accounted of the Lord to the NEXT generation) They shall come, and declare his righteousness unto a people that shall be born that he hath done this.”

PSALM 102:28: “The children of thy servants SHALL CONTINUE, and THEIR SEED (descendants) SHALL BE ESTABLISHED BEFORE THEE.” 

Isaiah 54:13: “And all thy children shall be taught if the Lord; and GREAT SHALL BE THE PEACE OF THY CHILDREN.”

See, sometimes the one being fought is not even who the fight is really against. And a good tool to use, as cliché as it may sound, truly is counting blessings, make a list of what you came from and make a list of where you are now, you may just be very surprised.

Hold on to God’s promises and know that you fight and you have to fight for the rights of your parents, your siblings, your children, and your grandchildren, and all that will come after you. You may be hurting now but your trust in the Lord will mean your child will NEVER know what is to hide terrified from a drunken or stoned parent, your child or grandchild will never know the shame and embarrassment of being mentally or verbally abused, the NEXT generation will never know the humiliation of poverty and the pain of hunger and there is no need for me to continue into the places many of you have suffered and tell you, NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN will you suffer those things and NEVER will your generations.

When God breaks chains, they ARE BROKEN unless we chose to chain ourselves and our families, and our futures  back to Satan’s whipping post. And God has CHOSEN you and He will little by little bring you through all the areas, past all the stumbling blocks set in your way. And He will restore and bless you but don’t give up when you are almost there. Here are some of His promises:

Psalm 22:24,25: ” For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; NEITHER hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.” 

“The meek shall eat and be satisfied; they shall praise the Lord that seek him, your heart shall live forever.” Psalm 25:10: “All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.”

Isaiah 54: 14: “In righteousness (right standing with God) shalt thou be ESTABLISHED: thou shalt be far from oppression: for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.”

Revelation 7:17: ” For the Lamb that is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living waters; and God shall wipe all tears from their eyes.”

Romans 10:11: “For the scripture saith, WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH ON HIM SHALL NOT BE ASHAMED.”

Proverbs 10:22: “The blessing of the Lord maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.

We could go on and on with wonderful promises and God’s awesome encouragement of “Be not afraid nor be dismayed”, God is with us and for us and He will take you step by step. Just hold and remember all those who will someday be very glad you did!

Φλογίζω Σαλπιζω NBJ 2016

If you have never heard this song, please take a minute and let it minister to your soul and let the power of God break the chains and break them forever!