“Feelin’ Fifty”

To background our starter verses, this takes place at the time that the Lord and two angels came down to tell Abraham of cries of Sodom and that based on the findings there, the certain destruction, these verse are after they had eaten.

Genesis 18:9-18: “And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent. And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life, and lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. 

And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.  Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women (she had passed the age of childbearing).

Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed (grown) old shall I have pleasure, my lord (a term often used in Old English, not to be confused as subservient) being old also?

And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore (why) did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of surety bear a child, which am old? IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR THE LORD?

At the TIME APPOINTED I will return unto thee, ACCORDING TO THE TIME OF LIFE, and sarah shall have a son. Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. and he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.”

Now let’s go to another angelic visitation, Gabriel had been sent to inform Zacharias that he would soon be a father, and let’s hear how Zacharias took the news:

Luke 1:18,19: “And Zacharias said UNTO the angel, Whereby (how) shall I KNOW this? For I am an old man, and my wife well stricken (advanced) in years.

And the angel answering said unto him,I am Gabriel, that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to shew thee these glad tidings (this good news), And behold,: thou shalt be dumb (mute), and not be able to speak, unto the day that these things shall be performed, because thou believest not my words, WHICH SHALL BE FULFILLED IN THEIR SEASON.” 

Now we go down a few verses after Gabriel has given Mary the wonderful news of Jesus’ birth, Verse 36,37:

And Behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, WHO WAS CALLED BARREN. FOR WITH GOD NOTHING SHALL BE IMPOSSIBLE.”  

I can not help but to stop for a moment and say a couple of things, first, how awesome would it to have been to have the Lord and two angels for dinner and how awesome is that Gabriel even told Mary that Elisabeth was six months pregnant?

We fail to realize just how close heaven is entwined with earth and that may sometimes be a good thing because I don’t know that our human minds could take constantly being aware of the spirit world that surrounds us. And even those with discernment experience times that it is hard to “bounce back” from some of the “things” they encounter.

And that is NOT my subject today, this and the following post will be a little lightening up the way to a more serious “breaking point” but first we have to figure out WHERE we are and HOW we got there, and realize that we may NOT be as “off course” as we have thought!

AGING, oh what a cute jingle that could be.. “OH, OH, OH, I am A.G.I.N.G., A.G.I.N.G. and I don’t know what is happening to me!!!

Sound good? well, you’d have to hear me sing it to get the tune and since I am definitely NOT a songstress you are really better off singing it yourself 😉 now to be serious.

Let’s talk about menopause, wrinkles, and the hard cold reality, as for me, “the Old Brown mare ain’t what she used to be” and all the aches and pains trying to get out of bed let me know that EVERYDAY!

Of course, I have degenerative scoliosis, and two vertebrae in my neck that had already fused together at twenty, so some of the aches and pains are not new and the Lord has helped me so much that actually I have less problems with my spine than I did in my twenties but the hips, knees, and shoulders are a different story.

And every symptom of the “M” word sends me into an emotional battle royale with the imagery coming to mind being quite like a Clint Eastwood western, complete with the theme song for “The good, the bad, and the ugly”, it is high noon and it is me versus the inevitable “M” staring me down saying with a bad western accent, “Mam it’s time, your gonna have to surrender that right to bear children now” and I spit, strike a yoga pose and and say “Look, Big “M” you ain’t taking me today!”

Wow, my mind is a scary place!  I have no intention of having more children, it is just knowing that I can. And I have managed to completely convince myself that I was actually born with these wrinkles on my forehead! And I really don’t think “neck scarf” will ever have the same meaning for me since I developing one made of actual skin!

Turning fifty made me think a little harder about things, like what do I want to be when I grow up?

AND then I thought, wow, I am half a century old and maybe should have thought a few things out a little better while making life decisions! BUT I thank God for another year and I know how blessed I am to have every single day that I have because it is of God’s mercy, so please don’t take my comedic take on it wrong! I AM thankful for another day to age!

Why do so many of us as teens wish our lives away, just waiting for the day we turn the infamous eighteen? Me and my friend Genia have spent quite a bit of time pondering this, we have been friends forever and now we are like, what were we thinking?

We were thinking that life would be so much better, so much easier once we made our decisions and plotted our own course in the wide open world. SO WRONG, marriage, the worries of motherhood,work, bills, life, heartache, health issues.

Those choices we were so gung-ho to make now bear the realization that if we fail to make the right one consequences will be paid and most of all the awful, awful changes that come when we inevitably lose loved ones and are are faced with the horror that our lives will truly NEVER be the same because loss CHANGES everything.

So, I don’t know about other ladies but I know for me, personally, my biggest struggle is this, I view menopause as another change that brings AN END to part of my life, and I don’t want the change in my life because I have had too many changes already and I have came to understand through loss after loss of friends, church family, my cherished uncle whom I absolutely adored and aunts, and most of all my Brother Donnie and having countless family members having battled cancer and other diseases and the recent health issues my husband has had, I realized that is it NOT always seasons of life.

Sometimes it actually comes down to natural occurrences encountered as WE age.

Years go by, time fades but we are who we are and none of us usually FEEL our age but that does not change the time on that clock.

I don’t think I really even realized any of this until I was FACED with my husbands illness and going through the foggiest summer season that I remember.

I had been driving forty minutes to work and having to drive home after dark in this horrid fog, and I live in the mountains and for most of the travel you have a bank on one side and  over into”treeville”straight DOWN crash potential on the other and the first night I was honestly in tears and I was like “Lord, I CAN’T do this” and the OVERWHELMING feeling of loneliness and just truly being ALONE in this fog, in the dark and I thought, if I can’t see my way home what will I do? Who will I call?

I had ALWAYS called my brother. My brother had ALWAYS been there for me and anyone else who needed him and we were neighbors, and I think as I was overwhelmed by the dark and the fog, I was actually overwhelmed by the fact that he was no longer there for me to call.

Which became not as much about needing help but being  painfully reminded THAT HE IS NO LONGER HERE nor will he be again, those days ARE gone and nothing I will ever do can make them come back.

I had to do this countless of times, and it seemed each fog was worse than the one before, one night in particular when I could see the fog from work, covering the mountains, then even the parking lot at work fogged over and I was in tears before I even left but God always put someone in our life, and I worked with a wonderful Christian lady named Melanie, and we would talk about the Lord and could just feel His presence and I had asked her to please pray that I could get home, and my Mom and my sister would pray every time they saw the fog start, but by the time I made it to the top, the fog had lifted and there were actually stars out and there was just something about the feeling of reaching the clear top that is just indescribable.

But fog after fog, time after time, every time me telling God the same thing, and every time God would comfort me and get me home.

Sometimes I think we are faced with the dark and with the fog, not that God brings it, but that He allows us to go through it so we WILL know that he is there and he makes us stronger as we FACE the changes age and years inevitably bring about.

And that IS the thing, it is ALL in our heads, and of course our aching bodies, and greying heads try to sway us to believe otherwise.

And I believe that is why Sarah laughed. I don’t believe it was a “ha-ha never gonna happen” laugh, I believe it was a “oh, my goodness, could it really be” laugh. I love the fact that she “laughed within herself” but God still heard it as he HEARS our hearts and there is so much comfort in knowing that.

The word surety in those verses would be like guarantee, which is why I think her laughter was more of the mind blown this is too good to be true but it is true giggle that we get when we are given the greatest news possible, and if this were the “wrong” kind of laughter, I don’t believe they would have named their son Isaac, it means laughter, it meant JOYOUS laughter.

Zacharias  was muted so he could not one more time proclaim that he and Elisabeth were just too old to be having a child.

ALL these verses have the common theme, HUMANS thinking that they are just too old to receive what has been promised to them by an AGELESS, TIMELESS CREATOR WHO HAS NO BEGINNING AND NO ENDING.

Once we think of it in that aspect, it is quite comical that we DECIDE when we are too old!

So Sarah, who lived to be one hundred and twenty-seven years old, and Elisabeth, and even Samson’s mother were all WELL PAST their prime or even the prime of the post prime, but God MADE things new, new births, completely new lifestyles, such as being a first time mother at ninety years old!

If you will notice also, ALL the things WERE to be FULFILLED IN THEIR SEASON. God KNOWS His plans for us, just as the Bible tells us.



NOTHING is impossible for Him and NOTHING is too hard for Him and IN THAT WE TRUST!

And I think that is really what ails us all deep down inside, it really isn’t the aging itself it is the uncertainty of what those years will hold, but God is good.

And just as with Moses, he was still in good health, the Bible states that “his eyes were not dim” but when it was time to for him to die, God had to tell him it was time.

We are promised the “renewing of the dew of our youth”, I believe it is from the inside out, doesn’t mean we will not show some wear and tear but it means because our soul has prospered in Him and in His word that we will have vitality, joy, and health.

Paul said he knew in whom he had believed and that he was persuaded  that he would keep those things he had committed unto him AGAINST that day, and that day can be different days for us other than the obvious day of our death.

It can be the days we fear, the days we dread, and in committing THOSE things unto the Lord, He then CAN make them NEW and those things we had feared will not even come into mind again.

I like to think that when I lose that battle, that I know will eventually be lost, I hope to be like the old saying and just go peacefully and gracefully because I KNOW another appointed time will come, a season will change, and SOMETHING GOOD will be in that golden age!

Εξυπιζω NBJ 2017  Laughter is merry medicine and I simply could not resist!